[Small mercies are few and far between, these days.
A small mercy being the ability to adjust to something seemingly impossible, for one. To know enough to shove a million things to the surface, to not think too loudly, feel too much. There's no ears and there's no eyes- haha.
But that's just par for the course, where Sans is concerned. What they need right now is a method to keep from thinking at all, something their raw, rotten core won't deviate away from in an unfortunate manner.
They have their secrets. Sans has his. With so little LOVE lost between them, they'd like to keep it that way.
Rin.
They need Rin. And that is their entire focus this morning, ignoring the scent of ozone on their skin, so thick they can taste it on the back of their tongue, hunting her down with the fierce drive to not think at all. Perhaps luck is on their side then, considering they find her so quickly. And just as quickly, Chara navigates their way to her side, keeping pace as her direction leads them towards the Mess Hall.]
I'm continuing on, today. Within the hour.
[I need to push forward, today. No matter what little setbacks occurred, last week.]
[Not that Rin has any complaints. Actually, she wishes more people would have Chara's drive; their time here in the castle could well be finished by now if they did. But their young companion has been aggressive with these pushes lately, even for them, and less inclusive to boot.
It doesn't bother her, if they didn't. It feels right, that it should be two of them.]
Alright. [Rin brushes her hair back behind her shoulder, easily and without waiting for reply.] Where should we meet?
[Trust is hard earned. And there are different aspects to trust. With Frisk, they could rely on a sense of understanding that went above and beyond conscious action- free falling into the unknown, hand in hand. With Wade, they could depend on...something else, a rush of fond guilt that eats away at their core whenever they speak to him.
With Rin, it's different yet again. She only asks the questions that need to be asked. She isn't invasive.
She doesn't hover.]
I was considering the same location as the last, if you were so inclined. Now that we're aware of the way to travel, we'll make better time.
[And if it's simply 'the last location in which they'd met', they wouldn't have to think too hard upon which location that is, would they?
[It's found several hours later, when Rin stops back at her room to get some things, hurried by the creepy animatronics that have been lurking outside in the halls. A half open bag on her bed lies forgotten beside the opened package, the note held in her hand.]
...Stupid. You didn't need to leave a note to tell me that.
[She might have texted Chara — process of elimination — those same words with her new phone, but just reaching for it makes her dizzy. Rin wipes the sweat from her brow. Right. Get out of here first. Those animatronics have been avoiding her so far, but she doesn't plan to push her luck. Shakily, Rin deposits Chara's precious gift into her bag, along with the rest of her things.
If their heart is still set on a certain thing, they never should have given her so many valuable gems. There's no way she can let them die now, before she can repay them for it.]
[Rin doesn't get to her phone right away — rarely does she, with texts, and if asked would protest aren't phones meant for calling? — but when she does see the text it prompts a blink. Sitting on her bed, she taps out a reply.]
[...A few minutes pass. It's hardly a delay, considering herself. Normally she'd think nothing of it, but the weirdness reminds her of the text she received from Tim right before the cages dropped, in October. The one she saw before she hit her head, it had trailed off like that... Perhaps this is serious, then? Tapping her foot, she reaches for the phone again, this time to dial Zaveid.
[ So Rin has her little Koo and Masaomi has his new baby Julia. Honestly, there's probably a lot of need for training with both of them, not to mention keeping up with Linda. Masaomi doesn't claim to be an expert - if any exist here, it would be Hilda, N, or Blue. Even if he's not really had a chance to interact much with Hilda. But all the same, he knows he can at least do something.
So...
Let's start with the basics. There's no Battle Dome here, but they can at least do something in the Altar Room or the little Park. Or the Basketball court. Either way, ]
So, Rin-chan, how's Koo's spirit? Or rather, I should ask Koo that, right?
[The two of them had been playing — or well. Rin had been sitting on her bed intensely reading a book, holding her arm out so Koo could apply colorful bandaids as he likes to do. He was just trying to squeeze under her arm so he could stick one on her jaw instead when he hears Masaomi say his name and the both of them perk up with matching expressions (synchronize).]
Koo?
[Sure they're talking about him now, the little Ralts hops onto Rin's knee to make himself taller, giving a mock salute. Yes, yes, that's him! Reporting for duty!]
Hm. He's alright, but I think he wishes he could be more useful or see more of the castle. He's gotten bored of our usual play areas.
[Koo drops his hands and nods vigorously at this. The castle's dangerous, he knows, and he hates not being able to help his trainer.]
At a slow, measured pace, it takes Rin thirty minutes to reach the first floor, two to descend the stairs, and one to reach Room 7. Murder to her heart, she exchanged not a glance with those she passed on her way down, and no words even when spoken to.
It takes thirty-three minutes to reach Sakura's door, and by that time at least her hands have stopped shaking. She looks calmer if only on the surface. Standing in the eye of a storm of her own making.
She's not worried about having wasted time. Rin has shadowed Sakura enough times this month to know when her sister left, she was not lying to her. There's nowhere in this castle Sakura would go for sanctuary but her own room.
Her confidence in this simple truth is as grounded as the hunch Sakura will definitely pretend she isn't there. For this reason Rin doesn't bother to knock. Uncaring for who might see her, much less propriety, she breaks the lock in her hand and lets herself in.]
[Needless to say, her surprise is significant at finding only Happy in the private room, squeaking in shock at Rin's abrupt entrance.
Somehow, it's this empty space that gets the gears whirling in her head again, a sense of urgency finally breaking through the icy numbness in her veins. It amounts to a crack, really, but it's enough to get her moving quickly into action with her head, if not her heart. From her bag, three familiars crafted from amethyst fly. She's used them to scout the castle many times before and now she's doing so again: this time with a target in mind.
Locate Sakura. A simple command. Rin might have taken her time getting down here, but the fact remains that the castle is huge, and her sister isn't classically athletic under normal circumstances, much less these ones. It's not likely she's made it out of the safe areas, she's certain.
That narrows the locations to search, and the mess hall and altar room are already ruled out. Rin sends one bird to scour the lower floors, one to scour the higher ones, and the third above and outside. The garden. And as they set out, Rin's closes the door behind her as best as she's able, her feet leading her to the elevator.]
[There's a book on her nightstand, that wasn't there yesterday morning. Small, the cover is somewhat garish; too bright a pink, small lettering that holds little contrast.
k i t c h e n banana yoshimoto The international bestseller
It's not the newest copy. The spine shows signs of serious use, rather than a lack of care, and the pages are pristine; no finger smudges from eating whilst reading, or irritating drops of water. Certain lines here and there have been underlined, and neat cursive fills in the spaces from time to time-
When I’m dead worn out, in a reverie, I often think that when it comes time to die, I want to breathe my last in a kitchen. Whether it’s cold and I’m all alone, or somebody’s there and it’s warm, I’ll stare death fearlessly in the eye. It it’s a kitchen, I’ll think, “How good.”
⚹Perhaps this was my mistake. Kitchen.
When was it I realized that, on this truly dark and solitary path we all walk, the only way we can light our path is our own? Although I was raised with love, I was always lonely.
⚹Although I was raised with LOVE, I was always lonely.
Someday, without fail, everyone will disappear, scattered into the blackness of time. I’ve always lived with that knowledge rooted into my being.
⚹Sans would have LOVEd this.
There was only one way to learn; I tried anything and everything, and I tried to do it right. And when I began to make myself crazy with irritation I would stop what I was doing and take a few deep breaths. At first my impatience would lead me to the brink of despair, but when I finally learned to correct my mistakes coolly, it was truly as if I had somehow reformed my own slapdash character. Or so I felt (of course, it wasn’t true).
⚹It's you, Rin.
The rest of the book is filled with commentary of a similar caliber.
[For six hours Sakura sleeps without interruption inside the rooftop's new treehouse, and every moment is marked by twitching, twisting, her expression in constant motion between pinched and exhausted. Nothing of it suggests a peaceful rest; the nightmares have come out from under the bed and have roosted behind the cover of her eyelids, and her fever keeps her face flushed despite how the rest of her color has drained back.
It's almost a mercy when she does snap back into an awakened state: eyes flung open and her entire body going very still. She instinctively senses that the mattress underneath her is foreign, the pillow one she's never laid her head upon. This isn't her bed, which means this isn't her room, and that numb admission is all the permission her memories need to flood her consciousness.
She fought with Nee-san. She lost. Her crest turned on her... and somehow she's still alive.
Yes, alive. If the rise and fall of her own breathing wasn't proof enough, Sakura can feel her raw nerves drum in time with the movement of her crest - the worms, very much alive as well, that have been sated by mana. Her body's overrun by fever, but her crest has reached finally reached an equilibrium.
That she can't remember how this happened - holes in her memory and body, replaced by someone's screaming - is what prompts Sakura to move, forcing her body into a sitting position. The effort costs her dearly. By the time she's upright she's winded, panting through her parched mouth, but stubbornness keeps her steady. Once she gulps down enough air, she slowly begins to swing her legs over the edge of the bed.]
Ah, sleeping beauty wakes~ [ Zaveid stands and steps over once he realizes that uh. No she is definitely getting up. The air in the room shifts direction - Rin's asleep below, has been for a bit, but he sets the wind to carrying their voices down to her either way. Maybe enough wind whispers will let her know that Sakura's up.
He reaches the bedside, standing... a little purposefully too close, if she was going to stand.
Zaveid remembers how shy she was, not so long ago, maybe the idea of standing will actually register as a bad one if it means being in personal space with him. ]
Sounds like you could use some water. Gunna stay put so I don't have to haul you back into bed when I return?
[ If sitting up makes her pant, there's no way she'd get to her feet for long, he thinks. ]
[Day three since Leonardo and his brothers were defeated and abducted by those strange wooden warriors. Day three since he's seen any of them, instead waking up in this strange castle with an explanation he's not entirely sure he buys. Not even from a supposed spirit. It's not the first time Leo has been whisked to another world - not even the first time he's been separated from his brothers in the process, but that doesn't mean he likes the repeat performance.]
[It's good to see that Turtle Luck doesn't fade with experience.]
[It took him one day to scrounge up some chalk made from the eggshells and flour he'd appropriated from the kitchen. It took another to recon the inside of the castle's proclaimed safe zone - less people than he'd have pictured fighting a war, but he supposes he and his brothers have taken on worse odds alone. Too bad that, unlike the other instances, he has no friends in the line of fire and thus no horse in this race.]
[All he cares about is finding his brothers.]
[On the third day, Leo waits out the evening traffic. He waits for the moon to float high into the fog before leaving his room - doesn't want to compromise it if something goes wrong - and making his way to the statue room, where he expects no company and plenty of room to work. Not that he strictly needs it, but he has no idea how this sort of portal might work in a world outside its intended use. There's nothing to say he won't invite someone in rather than getting out.]
[He still remembers the sigils to the ritual by heart. Using the chalk, Leo draws them out on the far corner of the altar room, then tosses the chalk aside and steps back, clapping dust from his hands before pressing them together.]
Here goes nothing.
[He bows his head and begins a low-throated chant that echoes through the chamber.]
[Almost a minute passes, with no sound filling the room but Leonardo's chanting. Then:]
Is that supposed to be an incantation?
[A girl's voice scoffs quietly from somewhere in the dark room. The person isn't clearly visible, but she doesn't seem to be trying to hide herself either. The voice sounds like it came from not too far away, actually. Perhaps from behind one of the statues near the end that he passed earlier?]
[ The new arrivals haven't even been here an hour, and here is Zaveid, without winds or any other hint he is on his way, just dropping into Rin's head without a word.
But he sure is breathing like he's trying not to let a sob escape.
[It'll be another few days before she's clear to leave the infirmary. Her Magic Crest used nearly all of her mana and more (borrowing the Queen's excess magic) to keep her alive when she was a Shadow, and hasn't recovered enough yet to being healing her various injuries at the rate it normally would.
Between broken ribs and an arm that's more deep tissue bruising than healthy flesh and worse, Rin's still on strict bedrest orders. As a result, she was actually asleep when Zaveid dropped in, and stirs at the abrupt disturbance. Squinting her eyes open at the fluorescent infirmary lights, she puzzles that there's no one in the room before realizing the sound possibly came from inside her head.
Closing her eyes again against the light, Rin drapes a hand over her forehead and mumbles sleepily under her breath:]
Zaveid...?
[He sounds upset. She doesn't think she's ever heard him like that before, without trying to hide it.]
[August 2nd]
[August 2nd]
Yes? What is it?
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[Muffled Megalovania in the Distance]
A small mercy being the ability to adjust to something seemingly impossible, for one. To know enough to shove a million things to the surface, to not think too loudly, feel too much. There's no ears and there's no eyes- haha.
But that's just par for the course, where Sans is concerned. What they need right now is a method to keep from thinking at all, something their raw, rotten core won't deviate away from in an unfortunate manner.
They have their secrets. Sans has his. With so little LOVE lost between them, they'd like to keep it that way.
Rin.
They need Rin. And that is their entire focus this morning, ignoring the scent of ozone on their skin, so thick they can taste it on the back of their tongue, hunting her down with the fierce drive to not think at all. Perhaps luck is on their side then, considering they find her so quickly. And just as quickly, Chara navigates their way to her side, keeping pace as her direction leads them towards the Mess Hall.]
I'm continuing on, today. Within the hour.
[I need to push forward, today. No matter what little setbacks occurred, last week.]
Come or stay as you please.
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[Not that Rin has any complaints. Actually, she wishes more people would have Chara's drive; their time here in the castle could well be finished by now if they did. But their young companion has been aggressive with these pushes lately, even for them, and less inclusive to boot.
It doesn't bother her, if they didn't. It feels right, that it should be two of them.]
Alright. [Rin brushes her hair back behind her shoulder, easily and without waiting for reply.] Where should we meet?
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With Rin, it's different yet again. She only asks the questions that need to be asked. She isn't invasive.
She doesn't hover.]
I was considering the same location as the last, if you were so inclined. Now that we're aware of the way to travel, we'll make better time.
[And if it's simply 'the last location in which they'd met', they wouldn't have to think too hard upon which location that is, would they?
No surprise visitors.]
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cw self harm mentions
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[October 1st]
Nee, Rin-chan, just to confirm. You're one of the ones captured, right?
[October 1st]
No. I decided to be locked in a cage set to drop over the ocean for the fun of it.
[October 1st]
[October 1st]
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> later
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[Post the October Intro event]
Inside is one phone, five high quality jewels, and one rather short note.]
You owe me.
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...Stupid. You didn't need to leave a note to tell me that.
[She might have texted Chara — process of elimination — those same words with her new phone, but just reaching for it makes her dizzy. Rin wipes the sweat from her brow. Right. Get out of here first. Those animatronics have been avoiding her so far, but she doesn't plan to push her luck. Shakily, Rin deposits Chara's precious gift into her bag, along with the rest of her things.
If their heart is still set on a certain thing, they never should have given her so many valuable gems. There's no way she can let them die now, before she can repay them for it.]
Nov 25th
So the text reads something like- ]
Infffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffdddddddddddddddddddd-
[ Until it cuts off because of space issues. Someone fell asleep typing? ]
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What kind of message is THAT?
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Ring, ring, ring!]
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> action
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[Sometime in the middle of November I guess idek]
So...
Let's start with the basics. There's no Battle Dome here, but they can at least do something in the Altar Room or the little Park. Or the Basketball court. Either way, ]
So, Rin-chan, how's Koo's spirit? Or rather, I should ask Koo that, right?
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Koo?
[Sure they're talking about him now, the little Ralts hops onto Rin's knee to make himself taller, giving a mock salute. Yes, yes, that's him! Reporting for duty!]
Hm. He's alright, but I think he wishes he could be more useful or see more of the castle. He's gotten bored of our usual play areas.
[Koo drops his hands and nods vigorously at this. The castle's dangerous, he knows, and he hates not being able to help his trainer.]
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Dec. 20 / Action
At a slow, measured pace, it takes Rin thirty minutes to reach the first floor, two to descend the stairs, and one to reach Room 7. Murder to her heart, she exchanged not a glance with those she passed on her way down, and no words even when spoken to.
It takes thirty-three minutes to reach Sakura's door, and by that time at least her hands have stopped shaking. She looks calmer if only on the surface. Standing in the eye of a storm of her own making.
She's not worried about having wasted time. Rin has shadowed Sakura enough times this month to know when her sister left, she was not lying to her. There's nowhere in this castle Sakura would go for sanctuary but her own room.
Her confidence in this simple truth is as grounded as the hunch Sakura will definitely pretend she isn't there. For this reason Rin doesn't bother to knock. Uncaring for who might see her, much less propriety, she breaks the lock in her hand and lets herself in.]
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Somehow, it's this empty space that gets the gears whirling in her head again, a sense of urgency finally breaking through the icy numbness in her veins. It amounts to a crack, really, but it's enough to get her moving quickly into action with her head, if not her heart. From her bag, three familiars crafted from amethyst fly. She's used them to scout the castle many times before and now she's doing so again: this time with a target in mind.
Locate Sakura. A simple command. Rin might have taken her time getting down here, but the fact remains that the castle is huge, and her sister isn't classically athletic under normal circumstances, much less these ones. It's not likely she's made it out of the safe areas, she's certain.
That narrows the locations to search, and the mess hall and altar room are already ruled out. Rin sends one bird to scour the lower floors, one to scour the higher ones, and the third above and outside. The garden. And as they set out, Rin's closes the door behind her as best as she's able, her feet leading her to the elevator.]
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2/? NEVERMIND I DON'T KNOW WHEN I'M GONNA STOP
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/lights herself on fire to hold back the tears
Can I join you, I brought gasoline
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[Backdated: 16th December]
k i t c h e n
banana yoshimoto
The international bestseller
It's not the newest copy. The spine shows signs of serious use, rather than a lack of care, and the pages are pristine; no finger smudges from eating whilst reading, or irritating drops of water. Certain lines here and there have been underlined, and neat cursive fills in the spaces from time to time-
When I’m dead worn out, in a reverie, I often think that when it comes time to die, I want to breathe my last in a kitchen. Whether it’s cold and I’m all alone, or somebody’s there and it’s warm, I’ll stare death fearlessly in the eye. It it’s a kitchen, I’ll think, “How good.”
⚹Perhaps this was my mistake. Kitchen.
When was it I realized that, on this truly dark and solitary path we all walk, the only way we can light our path is our own? Although I was raised with love, I was always lonely.
⚹Although I was raised with LOVE, I was always lonely.
Someday, without fail, everyone will disappear, scattered into the blackness of time. I’ve always lived with that knowledge rooted into my being.
⚹Sans would have LOVEd this.
There was only one way to learn; I tried anything and everything, and I tried to do it right. And when I began to make myself crazy with irritation I would stop what I was doing and take a few deep breaths. At first my impatience would lead me to the brink of despair, but when I finally learned to correct my mistakes coolly, it was truly as if I had somehow reformed my own slapdash character. Or so I felt (of course, it wasn’t true).
⚹It's you, Rin.
The rest of the book is filled with commentary of a similar caliber.
Dec. 21 / Action
It's almost a mercy when she does snap back into an awakened state: eyes flung open and her entire body going very still. She instinctively senses that the mattress underneath her is foreign, the pillow one she's never laid her head upon. This isn't her bed, which means this isn't her room, and that numb admission is all the permission her memories need to flood her consciousness.
She fought with Nee-san. She lost. Her crest turned on her... and somehow she's still alive.
Yes, alive. If the rise and fall of her own breathing wasn't proof enough, Sakura can feel her raw nerves drum in time with the movement of her crest - the worms, very much alive as well, that have been sated by mana. Her body's overrun by fever, but her crest has reached finally reached an equilibrium.
That she can't remember how this happened - holes in her memory and body, replaced by someone's screaming - is what prompts Sakura to move, forcing her body into a sitting position. The effort costs her dearly. By the time she's upright she's winded, panting through her parched mouth, but stubbornness keeps her steady. Once she gulps down enough air, she slowly begins to swing her legs over the edge of the bed.]
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He reaches the bedside, standing... a little purposefully too close, if she was going to stand.
Zaveid remembers how shy she was, not so long ago, maybe the idea of standing will actually register as a bad one if it means being in personal space with him. ]
Sounds like you could use some water. Gunna stay put so I don't have to haul you back into bed when I return?
[ If sitting up makes her pant, there's no way she'd get to her feet for long, he thinks. ]
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feb 3; action
[It's good to see that Turtle Luck doesn't fade with experience.]
[It took him one day to scrounge up some chalk made from the eggshells and flour he'd appropriated from the kitchen. It took another to recon the inside of the castle's proclaimed safe zone - less people than he'd have pictured fighting a war, but he supposes he and his brothers have taken on worse odds alone. Too bad that, unlike the other instances, he has no friends in the line of fire and thus no horse in this race.]
[All he cares about is finding his brothers.]
[On the third day, Leo waits out the evening traffic. He waits for the moon to float high into the fog before leaving his room - doesn't want to compromise it if something goes wrong - and making his way to the statue room, where he expects no company and plenty of room to work. Not that he strictly needs it, but he has no idea how this sort of portal might work in a world outside its intended use. There's nothing to say he won't invite someone in rather than getting out.]
[He still remembers the sigils to the ritual by heart. Using the chalk, Leo draws them out on the far corner of the altar room, then tosses the chalk aside and steps back, clapping dust from his hands before pressing them together.]
Here goes nothing.
[He bows his head and begins a low-throated chant that echoes through the chamber.]
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Is that supposed to be an incantation?
[A girl's voice scoffs quietly from somewhere in the dark room. The person isn't clearly visible, but she doesn't seem to be trying to hide herself either. The voice sounds like it came from not too far away, actually. Perhaps from behind one of the statues near the end that he passed earlier?]
You sound like a broken air conditioner.
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Forward dated to March 10
[ Sans, is YOURS? But, see, the difference is she's hopeless with technology, and he's just lazy. ]
Anyway, thanks a million for the present.
[ For a moment, it seems like Sans is about to say something else, too, but then the silence goes on a little too long. ]
See ya around.
[ April First ]
But he sure is breathing like he's trying not to let a sob escape.
WELP. ]
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Between broken ribs and an arm that's more deep tissue bruising than healthy flesh and worse, Rin's still on strict bedrest orders. As a result, she was actually asleep when Zaveid dropped in, and stirs at the abrupt disturbance. Squinting her eyes open at the fluorescent infirmary lights, she puzzles that there's no one in the room before realizing the sound possibly came from inside her head.
Closing her eyes again against the light, Rin drapes a hand over her forehead and mumbles sleepily under her breath:]
Zaveid...?
[He sounds upset. She doesn't think she's ever heard him like that before, without trying to hide it.]
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Oops. Sorry, I thought I'd already replied to this!
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