[Chara frowns at her reaction- and frowns more deeply at the mention of Rob. They can't say they miss him; a man they never knew and honestly didn't care to know in the first place, but there it is anyway. He didn't deserve what he got, in the end.
It doesn't do any good at lessening their already strained temper.]
No. The Eastern Reflector simply leads in a loop; there's nothing else to explore, there. At best, we'd be strengthening the Safe Zones- that is not what I intend to do, today.
So we either meet at the point of our previous excursion, or feel free to explore the Eastern Reflector in your own time.
[Sound good, little miss cactus? Because it certainly sounds swell to a good half of them. Chara's attention remains on her face, hardly aware of the direction they're taking.]
[This is the part where she should tell them off: don't be stupid, or maybe even fine, good luck getting anywhere without my light magic to open doors if this is the attitude she'll be expected to contend with, over a suggestion that would only do them favors. Or maybe she'd reason with them instead. There's the area past where Zuko's group explored too. It bugs Rin, that they don't even consider it.
But a different part of Rin clues into something deeper in (their) soul. Chara's heart is made up, isn't it? With or without her, they'll definitely go through with it. She doesn't want them to be alone for that; it's not how it should go. So pondering that, frowning and shooting Chara a wavering, unhappy look, she eventually nods. Fine. We'll do it your way.
(the part that's Rin's soul balks; what good does this do them, to just let it slide?)
She can't abandon them here. It's more important to stay by their side.]
[Whether they expect a fight or not, they don't get one. And they're ready for it, staring for down and waiting for the backlash that surely- has to be- coming. She doesn't like the idea; she's inclined to argue factually, to cement an opinion down and follow through with her own dogged sense of- well.
Chara doesn't even have to go against the part of them thinking it. They agree wholeheartedly. And there's little satisfaction to be found with just nodding right back, when their blood is hissing through their veins and primed to the thought of attacking right back.
That's as good as they get, for the moment, exhaling slowly as they step through the archway of the Mess Hall.
And biting their tongue when their foot apparently steps down into absolutely nothing, sending them pitch first into a black abyss, no end in sight. Don't open your mouth, or the wind will take your breath. Don't keep your eyes open, because you'll see the ground just in time to hit it.
Falling never worked for them. They weren't trying to fall.
[Breathless, like something following a gasp or a scream. In the dark, behind Chara's tightly shut eyelids, something will brush against their sleeve, then tug it: a hand blindly grasping to find theirs. Rising urgency, both in touch and in tone.]
Chara. It's okay. We're okay.
[...Sort of. Feel that? They're no longer falling.]
[In the end, the way her hand clasps their own is what steals their focus back from the forced duality of panic and alarmed action within their mind. Involuntarily clutching back until realisation comes, like the heart in their throat and the short, gasping wheezes that escape their lips, that the hand they're gripping onto is too large. Too long, too slender to be the one Chara had immediately assumed it was, simply by way of familiarity in grip and intent.
Rin. Not Frisk. Rin. The more logical part of them reminds cuttingly that they aren't allowed to let go, right now; don't even dare, kid. Not even for a second-]
What h-
[Chara opens their eyes, then closes them after a few prolonged moments, regretting even that much. Shock wouldn't work so fast as to steal away the sensation of their limbs being detached completely, would it? Hell- almost impulsively, they flex the fingers of their free hand. Curl their toes. All there, just. Don't seem like they are.
Neither does Rin, for that matter. She looks- well. Alive. Alive and concerned, which has them throwing out an entirely different question, squeezing her palm in a tight grip.]
[Chara doesn't like to be touched. Rin hasn't always known this; rather, it's something she only put together recently, after months of idle observation when they're both in the presence of others. It was a curious detail she'd filed away for later consideration, left to gather dust in the moment she reached for Chara's hand, like it was absolutely natural to do so.
It doesn't resurface either, when they squeeze her palm back. Her face and shoulders sag in relief instead, that they hold so tight without letting go.]
As good as I can be.
[Better, now that she got through to them. Oh, but that fall was unpleasant, and their current situation near as alarming. Now that the worry for Chara is fading off, she can feel the rapid flutter of her heart in the middle of her chest, like some bird dreaming to fly away from her. Rin squeezes their hand back more gently, a comfort as much for them as for herself.]
We didn't fall far.
[With her free hand, attached to the only limb that's still visible to her, Rin points up. Above their heads, the floorplan of the castle floats, only see-through, as if it were rendered invisible or made of glass. There's the place they were walking just before, the doorway they had just moved in front of, and then the mess hall beyond that, unobscured from this angle. From here they can see the underside of tables, and the soles of the feet of those walking around in there.
To Rin, it's incredibly surreal, as is everything else around them. It's just... Gray. Very obvious stonework, but yet she can breathe and move her head through it. But what's visible there cuts off at her stomach. Her legs and other arm vanish beneath some obscure line, and she can't lift anything above it. But it's there: she can kick her feet, and feel Chara's hand holding hers there. As for where that is, who knows.]
[It's disconcerting, is what it is. In the brief moments they allow their eyes to open, Chara regrets it; but they need the details, letting them burn into their mind and their SOUL in the hopes that perhaps, if Sans is paying enough attention, he'll take into account the feel of it, at the least.]
I'm not sure how much of a benefit that is, in our current situation.
[Their free hand works to free their phone from their pocket, innately careful in doing so. If they drop it, this is over- but success and determination mingle together until the device is securely gripped in their palm. Blindly, they press a few buttons. Try to think of the way they would usually text, hope that something happens. A cheerful, quiet chime of a message sent meets their ears, but exactly what, and to who-
Mm. [She tests each limb.] Everything's responding normally, but...
[She trails off, grunting as she tries to wiggle. Move up or down and— ahaha, there's a sensation like slipping, and she grips Chara's hand a little tighter as if that can anchor her. Whether it does, or just the way she stills suddenly Rin's unsure, but she actually does stay put. Breathes out a sigh of relief.]
We should be careful testing it, in case we fall further. Maybe we would just drop to the next floor, but I don't want to risk it so quick.
[She can't really feel anything but open air under her feet, and without being able to see, it's hard not to imagine. A drop and then—
Then the scent of ozone and a bed of flowers, golden yellow under a thin beam of light. The feeling like stirring from a dream, or something whimsical. Déjà vu. Maybe it would work out like it did before.]
[They should be more nervous than this, they think. However some aspects of this are familiar to outside parties- there's a vague reassurance, a sense of just... perhaps having the hiccups (how he knows what hiccups are, they don't bother to think of too much) but it's- not horrible. It's not as bad as it seems.
It won't last forever.
Breathe.]
Sa- I believe I know what's happening. If it is...how I imagine it is, then- it should correct itself in it's own time.
[They hope. Because there's an aspect of calculation involved with changing it on their own that Chara isn't so confident about, stomach dropping as they grip her hand all the tighter. Biting the inside of their cheek in the same place they had just days before, letting the copper taste fill their mouth.
[Okay. It's all Rin says, and it never strikes her as her odd. Doesn't wonder at the whiplash change in their mood; impatient to reserved, untrusting to a gambler. They don't ask why when it comes to Chara, only that they are.
And right now, they are troubled and more pressing, they could be waiting for some time.
If you were to break down the pieces of their souls into precise categories, single words with no exposition or meaning assigned to them, and compare the traits side by side, in many respects, Frisk would be Rin's opposite. They're humble where she's proud; patient where she might lose her temper.
But there's an overlap, when it comes to seeing someone they care about upset; a shared instinct to put them at ease, although Rin's approach might be more off-the-cuff than the careful consideration Frisk would give. An innocent topic of discussion to distract them, maybe.]
[They aren't a patient child. They aren't a patient being as a HOLE, whether it brings them to snow poffs or trash piles or the studious action of washing their hands. It's against their very nature to wait, and against their very nature to trust- but they do both, drawing upon the latter from another source entirely that attempts to fit and smooth over the jagged edges of their core.
Three sources attempting to soothe them. Chara doesn't recognize a single one. A messy exhale, biting their lip at how excessively loud it seems in their ears- but they need to breathe. Can't hold it in, can't temper it down, let it catch in their throat until they know it's coming out soundlessly.
They answer the question, instead.]
I haven't been to the library, as of late- just- rereading an old classic, when time permits.
[When they allow themself a moment to be selfish.]
[A classic like...? Treasure Island. Lord of the Flies? Of Mice and Men, and To Kill a Mockingbird. Greek myths, fairy tales, and Irish legends.
Or is it a favorite they once told her to look up, after an exchange of fortune cookies? Kitchen they had said, with a pressed flower bookmark in their hands that whispers like the ocean in a seashell, when you close your eyes.
Oh, or maybe it's not a classic story, but poetry. It's easy to picture them with a worn book in hand, eyes following words their heart has memorized.
But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep.]
[Something in her feels stiff. A memory like noticing a scuff in her beautiful new shoes when she went to fasten them, getting ready for school one February morning that makes her thinks of jinxes. How silly.
Thinking it's silly doesn't make her feel less shaken, but Rin smiles anyways. Where had she been going with that thought again? Right, right.]
...We have plenty of time here. Why don't you tell me about it?
Someone else has. Someone else has laid there, on the end of Chara's bed, and listened to them tell the tale with the smooth confidence of someone who doesn't even need the book in their hands. So very quiet, only speaking up themself when a thought strikes- commentary upon a particular segment, insight upon the characters, and what they thought of them thus far.
A shared look between them, when the character they both associated with the most simply died. From vibrant caricature to simple plot device.
They'd both pretended not to associate with her even more, at that.]
When I’m dead worn out, in a reverie, I often think that when it comes time to die, I want to breathe my last in a kitchen. Whether it’s cold and I’m all alone, or somebody’s there and it’s warm, I’ll stare death fearlessly in the eye.
If it’s in a kitchen, I’ll think, “How good.”
It has been my favorite for a very long time. Did you read it?
[It's the first time she's heard those words, and yet it feels like the fourth or the fifth. It should be strange, how the nostalgia nests in her bones, but it isn't. Listening to Chara recite the passage, Rin only feels a dreamy fondness. For a moment her face softens, and she laughs lightly under her breath.]
That sounds like a boy I know.
[She can picture him so clearly; red hair and warm brown eyes, bustling about his kitchen in that silly apron. You'd think he was born in that kitchen. If he could fit his futon in it, she bets he would definitely sleep there. Rin shakes her head.]
But no, I haven't read it. I've looked for it in the library every couple of weeks since the day you told me about it, but haven't come across it yet.
[She looks back over to Chara, eyes teasing.] Although now I'm wondering if it's because you have the only copy.
[A boy? They make a face at that, but say nothing. Part of them is rather amused at their abhorrence of implied romance- even Frisk could appreciate a good love story. Chara should, what was the term, there?
Live a little.
That part can shut up and go back to sleep.]
I may have the only copy... how about this? Should you make it to the end of this castle, I shall bequeath it upon you.
[It won't matter if they do at that point, after all.
A gift for me? [Arm to her chest, Rin bows in an exaggerated, sweeping gesture.] Oh! I'm humbled, milord!
[Lighthearted. She wants to laugh; Chara and their ever grandiloquent vocabulary, as always. But halfway through, though gone unseen with the way her bangs momentarily hide the top half of her face, Rin's smile no longer reaches her eyes. ...the end?
Eggs and toast. She'd nibbled at the crusts while grandfather polished her shoe, and the phone rang.
She can't laugh, but she doesn't let herself frown.]
But if it's your favorite, I can just borrow it.
[That'd make more sense. Right? It's not like this person, who was reluctant to even break a fortune cookie they were handed to give a special possession away.]
[Chara considers themself an excellent judge of character. They've certainly had the time to learn to be so; exposure to the relevant source materials, the way in which judgement could, and should, be handed down. But they miss it, this time. They take her amusement at face value, judge her stiffness based off the place they're in, and disregard it completely.
They've always had a morbid sense of humor.]
Call it a leap of faith, then. I am trusting you to take care of it.
[No dice? And no explanation. Rin stares, briefly; the dread she thought she could shake like loose cobwebs solidifying in her like cement instead. You know, the last time someone gave her a precious book...
"Well then, I'll be going. You know what to do now, right?"
Don't—]
...Mm.
[Seemingly letting it go, Rin's face is impassive as she turns her head up to watch the people walk on the "ceiling", going about their business in the mess hall.
It's Chara. It's not wrong. A camaraderie deeper than that of siblings tells her it isn't wrong. Is utterly calm. And that's the problem. It should be wrong, and that it somehow isn't has every instinct in her squirming, unsettled and unnerved, but
Please don't think about this anymore, something in her soul says. Like the colorful band-aids Koo likes to stick to her cheeks and arm to make her feel better when she's sad. So she doesn't say anything more on it. But it still nags.]
[Not up for jokes, is she? Their brow furrows, but once again, Chara doesn't chase. They replicate her movements instead, looking up with a detached sense of equally morbid fascination as people walk to and fro.]
They'd never know we were down here, would they?
[We could die down here, and not a soul would know. One soul might know. One soul that ripples with a sort of dissatisfaction that's easily waved away and disregarded, just like it has been in all else. Their wrists have been itching for days- isn't that enough?
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It doesn't do any good at lessening their already strained temper.]
No. The Eastern Reflector simply leads in a loop; there's nothing else to explore, there. At best, we'd be strengthening the Safe Zones- that is not what I intend to do, today.
So we either meet at the point of our previous excursion, or feel free to explore the Eastern Reflector in your own time.
[Sound good, little miss cactus? Because it certainly sounds swell to a good half of them. Chara's attention remains on her face, hardly aware of the direction they're taking.]
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But a different part of Rin clues into something deeper in (their) soul. Chara's heart is made up, isn't it? With or without her, they'll definitely go through with it. She doesn't want them to be alone for that; it's not how it should go. So pondering that, frowning and shooting Chara a wavering, unhappy look, she eventually nods. Fine. We'll do it your way.
(the part that's Rin's soul balks; what good does this do them, to just let it slide?)
She can't abandon them here. It's more important to stay by their side.]
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Chara doesn't even have to go against the part of them thinking it. They agree wholeheartedly. And there's little satisfaction to be found with just nodding right back, when their blood is hissing through their veins and primed to the thought of attacking right back.
That's as good as they get, for the moment, exhaling slowly as they step through the archway of the Mess Hall.
And biting their tongue when their foot apparently steps down into absolutely nothing, sending them pitch first into a black abyss, no end in sight. Don't open your mouth, or the wind will take your breath. Don't keep your eyes open, because you'll see the ground just in time to hit it.
Falling never worked for them. They weren't trying to fall.
This is wrong.]
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[Breathless, like something following a gasp or a scream. In the dark, behind Chara's tightly shut eyelids, something will brush against their sleeve, then tug it: a hand blindly grasping to find theirs. Rising urgency, both in touch and in tone.]
Chara. It's okay. We're okay.
[...Sort of. Feel that? They're no longer falling.]
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Rin. Not Frisk. Rin. The more logical part of them reminds cuttingly that they aren't allowed to let go, right now; don't even dare, kid. Not even for a second-]
What h-
[Chara opens their eyes, then closes them after a few prolonged moments, regretting even that much. Shock wouldn't work so fast as to steal away the sensation of their limbs being detached completely, would it? Hell- almost impulsively, they flex the fingers of their free hand. Curl their toes. All there, just. Don't seem like they are.
Neither does Rin, for that matter. She looks- well. Alive. Alive and concerned, which has them throwing out an entirely different question, squeezing her palm in a tight grip.]
You okay?
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It doesn't resurface either, when they squeeze her palm back. Her face and shoulders sag in relief instead, that they hold so tight without letting go.]
As good as I can be.
[Better, now that she got through to them. Oh, but that fall was unpleasant, and their current situation near as alarming. Now that the worry for Chara is fading off, she can feel the rapid flutter of her heart in the middle of her chest, like some bird dreaming to fly away from her. Rin squeezes their hand back more gently, a comfort as much for them as for herself.]
We didn't fall far.
[With her free hand, attached to the only limb that's still visible to her, Rin points up. Above their heads, the floorplan of the castle floats, only see-through, as if it were rendered invisible or made of glass. There's the place they were walking just before, the doorway they had just moved in front of, and then the mess hall beyond that, unobscured from this angle. From here they can see the underside of tables, and the soles of the feet of those walking around in there.
To Rin, it's incredibly surreal, as is everything else around them. It's just... Gray. Very obvious stonework, but yet she can breathe and move her head through it. But what's visible there cuts off at her stomach. Her legs and other arm vanish beneath some obscure line, and she can't lift anything above it. But it's there: she can kick her feet, and feel Chara's hand holding hers there. As for where that is, who knows.]
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I'm not sure how much of a benefit that is, in our current situation.
[Their free hand works to free their phone from their pocket, innately careful in doing so. If they drop it, this is over- but success and determination mingle together until the device is securely gripped in their palm. Blindly, they press a few buttons. Try to think of the way they would usually text, hope that something happens. A cheerful, quiet chime of a message sent meets their ears, but exactly what, and to who-
Who knows, really.]
Can you move at all?
[Is she willing to risk trying?]
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[She trails off, grunting as she tries to wiggle. Move up or down and— ahaha, there's a sensation like slipping, and she grips Chara's hand a little tighter as if that can anchor her. Whether it does, or just the way she stills suddenly Rin's unsure, but she actually does stay put. Breathes out a sigh of relief.]
We should be careful testing it, in case we fall further. Maybe we would just drop to the next floor, but I don't want to risk it so quick.
[She can't really feel anything but open air under her feet, and without being able to see, it's hard not to imagine. A drop and then—
Then the scent of ozone and a bed of flowers, golden yellow under a thin beam of light. The feeling like stirring from a dream, or something whimsical. Déjà vu. Maybe it would work out like it did before.]
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It won't last forever.
Breathe.]
Sa- I believe I know what's happening. If it is...how I imagine it is, then- it should correct itself in it's own time.
[They hope. Because there's an aspect of calculation involved with changing it on their own that Chara isn't so confident about, stomach dropping as they grip her hand all the tighter. Biting the inside of their cheek in the same place they had just days before, letting the copper taste fill their mouth.
Breathe.]
We should wait.
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[Okay. It's all Rin says, and it never strikes her as her odd. Doesn't wonder at the whiplash change in their mood; impatient to reserved, untrusting to a gambler. They don't ask why when it comes to Chara, only that they are.
And right now, they are troubled and more pressing, they could be waiting for some time.
If you were to break down the pieces of their souls into precise categories, single words with no exposition or meaning assigned to them, and compare the traits side by side, in many respects, Frisk would be Rin's opposite. They're humble where she's proud; patient where she might lose her temper.
But there's an overlap, when it comes to seeing someone they care about upset; a shared instinct to put them at ease, although Rin's approach might be more off-the-cuff than the careful consideration Frisk would give. An innocent topic of discussion to distract them, maybe.]
Have you read any good books lately?
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Three sources attempting to soothe them. Chara doesn't recognize a single one. A messy exhale, biting their lip at how excessively loud it seems in their ears- but they need to breathe. Can't hold it in, can't temper it down, let it catch in their throat until they know it's coming out soundlessly.
They answer the question, instead.]
I haven't been to the library, as of late- just- rereading an old classic, when time permits.
[When they allow themself a moment to be selfish.]
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[A classic like...? Treasure Island. Lord of the Flies? Of Mice and Men, and To Kill a Mockingbird. Greek myths, fairy tales, and Irish legends.
Or is it a favorite they once told her to look up, after an exchange of fortune cookies? Kitchen they had said, with a pressed flower bookmark in their hands that whispers like the ocean in a seashell, when you close your eyes.
Oh, or maybe it's not a classic story, but poetry. It's easy to picture them with a worn book in hand, eyes following words their heart has memorized.
But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep.]
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Thinking it's silly doesn't make her feel less shaken, but Rin smiles anyways. Where had she been going with that thought again? Right, right.]
...We have plenty of time here. Why don't you tell me about it?
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Someone else has. Someone else has laid there, on the end of Chara's bed, and listened to them tell the tale with the smooth confidence of someone who doesn't even need the book in their hands. So very quiet, only speaking up themself when a thought strikes- commentary upon a particular segment, insight upon the characters, and what they thought of them thus far.
A shared look between them, when the character they both associated with the most simply died. From vibrant caricature to simple plot device.
They'd both pretended not to associate with her even more, at that.]
When I’m dead worn out, in a reverie, I often think that when it comes time to die, I want to breathe my last in a kitchen. Whether it’s cold and I’m all alone, or somebody’s there and it’s warm, I’ll stare death fearlessly in the eye.
If it’s in a kitchen, I’ll think, “How good.”
It has been my favorite for a very long time. Did you read it?
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That sounds like a boy I know.
[She can picture him so clearly; red hair and warm brown eyes, bustling about his kitchen in that silly apron. You'd think he was born in that kitchen. If he could fit his futon in it, she bets he would definitely sleep there. Rin shakes her head.]
But no, I haven't read it. I've looked for it in the library every couple of weeks since the day you told me about it, but haven't come across it yet.
[She looks back over to Chara, eyes teasing.] Although now I'm wondering if it's because you have the only copy.
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Live a little.
That part can shut up and go back to sleep.]
I may have the only copy... how about this? Should you make it to the end of this castle, I shall bequeath it upon you.
[It won't matter if they do at that point, after all.
She'd likely take good care of it.]
Consider it a gift.
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[Lighthearted. She wants to laugh; Chara and their ever grandiloquent vocabulary, as always. But halfway through, though gone unseen with the way her bangs momentarily hide the top half of her face, Rin's smile no longer reaches her eyes. ...the end?
Eggs and toast. She'd nibbled at the crusts while grandfather polished her shoe, and the phone rang.
She can't laugh, but she doesn't let herself frown.]
But if it's your favorite, I can just borrow it.
[That'd make more sense. Right? It's not like this person, who was reluctant to even break a fortune cookie they were handed to give a special possession away.]
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They've always had a morbid sense of humor.]
Call it a leap of faith, then. I am trusting you to take care of it.
[Some would even call it sick.]
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"Well then, I'll be going. You know what to do now, right?"
Don't—]
...Mm.
[Seemingly letting it go, Rin's face is impassive as she turns her head up to watch the people walk on the "ceiling", going about their business in the mess hall.
It's Chara. It's not wrong. A camaraderie deeper than that of siblings tells her it isn't wrong. Is utterly calm. And that's the problem. It should be wrong, and that it somehow isn't has every instinct in her squirming, unsettled and unnerved, but
Please don't think about this anymore, something in her soul says. Like the colorful band-aids Koo likes to stick to her cheeks and arm to make her feel better when she's sad. So she doesn't say anything more on it.
But it still nags.]
cw self harm mentions
They'd never know we were down here, would they?
[We could die down here, and not a soul would know. One soul might know. One soul that ripples with a sort of dissatisfaction that's easily waved away and disregarded, just like it has been in all else. Their wrists have been itching for days- isn't that enough?
Their knives haven't seen any use lately.]
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[Bringing her only free hand to her mouth, Rin demonstrates. Fwooh fwssh. With an actual light breeze thrown in, because she has a wind affinity.]
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Is this enough, or would you prefer I try harder?
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But somehow it's expected too. She almost goes to clap before — haha whoops, only one arm. Rin settles for whistling appreciatively instead.]
No way. You nailed it! We should—
[Er, wait. Are they shifting again?]
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