Someone else has. Someone else has laid there, on the end of Chara's bed, and listened to them tell the tale with the smooth confidence of someone who doesn't even need the book in their hands. So very quiet, only speaking up themself when a thought strikes- commentary upon a particular segment, insight upon the characters, and what they thought of them thus far.
A shared look between them, when the character they both associated with the most simply died. From vibrant caricature to simple plot device.
They'd both pretended not to associate with her even more, at that.]
When I’m dead worn out, in a reverie, I often think that when it comes time to die, I want to breathe my last in a kitchen. Whether it’s cold and I’m all alone, or somebody’s there and it’s warm, I’ll stare death fearlessly in the eye.
If it’s in a kitchen, I’ll think, “How good.”
It has been my favorite for a very long time. Did you read it?
[It's the first time she's heard those words, and yet it feels like the fourth or the fifth. It should be strange, how the nostalgia nests in her bones, but it isn't. Listening to Chara recite the passage, Rin only feels a dreamy fondness. For a moment her face softens, and she laughs lightly under her breath.]
That sounds like a boy I know.
[She can picture him so clearly; red hair and warm brown eyes, bustling about his kitchen in that silly apron. You'd think he was born in that kitchen. If he could fit his futon in it, she bets he would definitely sleep there. Rin shakes her head.]
But no, I haven't read it. I've looked for it in the library every couple of weeks since the day you told me about it, but haven't come across it yet.
[She looks back over to Chara, eyes teasing.] Although now I'm wondering if it's because you have the only copy.
[A boy? They make a face at that, but say nothing. Part of them is rather amused at their abhorrence of implied romance- even Frisk could appreciate a good love story. Chara should, what was the term, there?
Live a little.
That part can shut up and go back to sleep.]
I may have the only copy... how about this? Should you make it to the end of this castle, I shall bequeath it upon you.
[It won't matter if they do at that point, after all.
A gift for me? [Arm to her chest, Rin bows in an exaggerated, sweeping gesture.] Oh! I'm humbled, milord!
[Lighthearted. She wants to laugh; Chara and their ever grandiloquent vocabulary, as always. But halfway through, though gone unseen with the way her bangs momentarily hide the top half of her face, Rin's smile no longer reaches her eyes. ...the end?
Eggs and toast. She'd nibbled at the crusts while grandfather polished her shoe, and the phone rang.
She can't laugh, but she doesn't let herself frown.]
But if it's your favorite, I can just borrow it.
[That'd make more sense. Right? It's not like this person, who was reluctant to even break a fortune cookie they were handed to give a special possession away.]
[Chara considers themself an excellent judge of character. They've certainly had the time to learn to be so; exposure to the relevant source materials, the way in which judgement could, and should, be handed down. But they miss it, this time. They take her amusement at face value, judge her stiffness based off the place they're in, and disregard it completely.
They've always had a morbid sense of humor.]
Call it a leap of faith, then. I am trusting you to take care of it.
[No dice? And no explanation. Rin stares, briefly; the dread she thought she could shake like loose cobwebs solidifying in her like cement instead. You know, the last time someone gave her a precious book...
"Well then, I'll be going. You know what to do now, right?"
Don't—]
...Mm.
[Seemingly letting it go, Rin's face is impassive as she turns her head up to watch the people walk on the "ceiling", going about their business in the mess hall.
It's Chara. It's not wrong. A camaraderie deeper than that of siblings tells her it isn't wrong. Is utterly calm. And that's the problem. It should be wrong, and that it somehow isn't has every instinct in her squirming, unsettled and unnerved, but
Please don't think about this anymore, something in her soul says. Like the colorful band-aids Koo likes to stick to her cheeks and arm to make her feel better when she's sad. So she doesn't say anything more on it. But it still nags.]
[Not up for jokes, is she? Their brow furrows, but once again, Chara doesn't chase. They replicate her movements instead, looking up with a detached sense of equally morbid fascination as people walk to and fro.]
They'd never know we were down here, would they?
[We could die down here, and not a soul would know. One soul might know. One soul that ripples with a sort of dissatisfaction that's easily waved away and disregarded, just like it has been in all else. Their wrists have been itching for days- isn't that enough?
[They might be shifting again. And despite all best reassurances (sans any effort to be, as most would say, best) Chara still sounds alarmed, grip on her tightening substantially, almost as if they're afraid she might let go.
Please don't let go. This isn't how it's supposed to end.]
[They're both shifting; Rin's certain of that at the last second, holding Chara's hand so tightly and refusing to budge that when they fall through the... whatever this not-floor is, Rin is pulled along too.
There's not enough time to mumble reassurances, I got you and it's okay. Just fingers laced together, I'm here, I'm here as the world fwooshes past to who knows where next but down, down, down.
[A whoosh of air; like colliding with solid ground but not. They fall- the both of them, Chara clutching Rin's hand so hard it's surprising they haven't cut off the circulation- before ending in a suspended sensation, legs kicking uselessly beneath them, before they go still. They can see-
Their face is half clipped through the wall. They can see a bedroom, with no idea as to whose it could be. Keeping their eyes closed seems to be the better course of action.]
...I suppose we may just fall out of the world completely, if this keeps up.
[This is somehow more disturbing than the last position they were in. Rin winces; not only at the smell of the bathroom, but Chara's grip on her hand. It's starting to hurt.
She doesn't dare let go.
Rin takes deep breaths, calming herself and trying to assess the situation. Clipped like this... It hurts to look between the bathroom and the side of nothingness they're split between, but they should have an easier time with their cellphones like this now, shouldn't they?]
We'll just have to stop it before then, right?
[Because she doesn't want to die, or whatever this ridiculous fate might be; wholly from herself and the bottom of her heart does Rin feel that, dipping into a pool of optimism that's a bit wider than usual.]
Such as to keep most of our bodies together, or at least able to access what we need?
[Last time they were caught at the waist, cut in half from top to bottom, and this time it's side to side. It's hard to say if they can time that just right, but...]
Possibly... If we concentrated on what we were doing and didn't look away once.
Mm. [In all sides of her, it's easily agreed.] The next time we feel ourselves shift, then.
[Drop everything and get ready, is the natural conclusion to that; it's typical for Rin to explain things thoroughly, but there's no need to say something Chara already understands. The'll do it, the next time that sense of falling strikes.
Whenever that might be.
And here they are again, in a lull that waits for that moment.]
[The lull is unnerving. They suppose that shifting, currently, is not the answer, lest they want to drop suddenly and without qualms. The blank, nervous buzz of their mind doesn't have the words to pick up a new conversation; whatever they could say would just be inane, irrelevant.
So Chara hums. They do so unthinkingly, lesser restraint on doing something relatively soothing than usual, a tune they know off by heart.
[When they fall again, if she made hers and Chara's body lighter, would she be able to slow their descent? It's another thing to consider trying, and she wonders why she didn't take of it before.
Hm. Possibly because it's second nature to her, but not to them. That person who thinks so strongly of people over things, reaching out with her hand to their heart.
She's fond of Chara, but that's not like her. Is it? This is a crisis, so she needs to get a grip on herself; what she would do instead of they.
Her hand won't let go. That's alright.
Closing her eyes to push back the disorientation, Rin fumbles through options in her head and listens to Chara's quiet humming. The song is sweet. A lullaby, maybe? It feels familiar, but Rin focuses on the part of herself that says she doesn't know it at all.
...Just two weeks ago, the two of them had chatted on the phone. It was probably the start of this mess with everyone's souls; she remembers thinking after she had bonded with Wade, no wonder Chara had been so frightened then. At that time when they were still trying to work things out, Rin remembers advising them to do something to distract themselves. Clapping, singing, humming. Is that what'd they done then?
Is that why they're doing it now, or are they just afraid?
Waiting a bit to get a feel for the melody, Rin begins to hum lightly as well. Instead of a audible mess timed with no consideration, she manages to faintly harmonize the second song with Chara's.]
[The great thing about children is the fact that they are, in essence, highly influential. Even a child such as Chara, with little love for the world and even less to provide to their own species, was susceptible.
Don't hurt yourself badly, that brings your awareness back inside you.
Focus on the physical sensations.
Very little of their history has ever been geared towards putting on the proverbial brakes, nevermind the concept of healthy outlets. It would be funny, almost hilarious, if they took the time to tell her she was the first to ever let them know- hurting themself is bad. Hurting themself means being stuck with themself even more. No piteous attempts at being told how much it would hurt her- just that it would hurt them. That it would continue placing them in a space they don't want to be.
There's every chance they picked up this habit from her. If they did, Chara's hardly about to admit to it, eyes opening as they go quiet, listening to the foreign tune with an almost absent sense of direction. Something is always better than nothing.
The moment they feel their body begin to fall again is almost welcome.]
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Someone else has. Someone else has laid there, on the end of Chara's bed, and listened to them tell the tale with the smooth confidence of someone who doesn't even need the book in their hands. So very quiet, only speaking up themself when a thought strikes- commentary upon a particular segment, insight upon the characters, and what they thought of them thus far.
A shared look between them, when the character they both associated with the most simply died. From vibrant caricature to simple plot device.
They'd both pretended not to associate with her even more, at that.]
When I’m dead worn out, in a reverie, I often think that when it comes time to die, I want to breathe my last in a kitchen. Whether it’s cold and I’m all alone, or somebody’s there and it’s warm, I’ll stare death fearlessly in the eye.
If it’s in a kitchen, I’ll think, “How good.”
It has been my favorite for a very long time. Did you read it?
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That sounds like a boy I know.
[She can picture him so clearly; red hair and warm brown eyes, bustling about his kitchen in that silly apron. You'd think he was born in that kitchen. If he could fit his futon in it, she bets he would definitely sleep there. Rin shakes her head.]
But no, I haven't read it. I've looked for it in the library every couple of weeks since the day you told me about it, but haven't come across it yet.
[She looks back over to Chara, eyes teasing.] Although now I'm wondering if it's because you have the only copy.
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Live a little.
That part can shut up and go back to sleep.]
I may have the only copy... how about this? Should you make it to the end of this castle, I shall bequeath it upon you.
[It won't matter if they do at that point, after all.
She'd likely take good care of it.]
Consider it a gift.
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[Lighthearted. She wants to laugh; Chara and their ever grandiloquent vocabulary, as always. But halfway through, though gone unseen with the way her bangs momentarily hide the top half of her face, Rin's smile no longer reaches her eyes. ...the end?
Eggs and toast. She'd nibbled at the crusts while grandfather polished her shoe, and the phone rang.
She can't laugh, but she doesn't let herself frown.]
But if it's your favorite, I can just borrow it.
[That'd make more sense. Right? It's not like this person, who was reluctant to even break a fortune cookie they were handed to give a special possession away.]
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They've always had a morbid sense of humor.]
Call it a leap of faith, then. I am trusting you to take care of it.
[Some would even call it sick.]
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"Well then, I'll be going. You know what to do now, right?"
Don't—]
...Mm.
[Seemingly letting it go, Rin's face is impassive as she turns her head up to watch the people walk on the "ceiling", going about their business in the mess hall.
It's Chara. It's not wrong. A camaraderie deeper than that of siblings tells her it isn't wrong. Is utterly calm. And that's the problem. It should be wrong, and that it somehow isn't has every instinct in her squirming, unsettled and unnerved, but
Please don't think about this anymore, something in her soul says. Like the colorful band-aids Koo likes to stick to her cheeks and arm to make her feel better when she's sad. So she doesn't say anything more on it.
But it still nags.]
cw self harm mentions
They'd never know we were down here, would they?
[We could die down here, and not a soul would know. One soul might know. One soul that ripples with a sort of dissatisfaction that's easily waved away and disregarded, just like it has been in all else. Their wrists have been itching for days- isn't that enough?
Their knives haven't seen any use lately.]
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[Bringing her only free hand to her mouth, Rin demonstrates. Fwooh fwssh. With an actual light breeze thrown in, because she has a wind affinity.]
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Is this enough, or would you prefer I try harder?
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But somehow it's expected too. She almost goes to clap before — haha whoops, only one arm. Rin settles for whistling appreciatively instead.]
No way. You nailed it! We should—
[Er, wait. Are they shifting again?]
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[They might be shifting again. And despite all best reassurances (sans any effort to be, as most would say, best) Chara still sounds alarmed, grip on her tightening substantially, almost as if they're afraid she might let go.
Please don't let go. This isn't how it's supposed to end.]
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There's not enough time to mumble reassurances, I got you and it's okay. Just fingers laced together, I'm here, I'm here as the world fwooshes past to who knows where next but down, down, down.
At least they're together, right?]
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Their face is half clipped through the wall. They can see a bedroom, with no idea as to whose it could be. Keeping their eyes closed seems to be the better course of action.]
...I suppose we may just fall out of the world completely, if this keeps up.
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She doesn't dare let go.
Rin takes deep breaths, calming herself and trying to assess the situation. Clipped like this... It hurts to look between the bathroom and the side of nothingness they're split between, but they should have an easier time with their cellphones like this now, shouldn't they?]
We'll just have to stop it before then, right?
[Because she doesn't want to die, or whatever this ridiculous fate might be; wholly from herself and the bottom of her heart does Rin feel that, dipping into a pool of optimism that's a bit wider than usual.]
Can you see your phone?
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[They can, after a brief, cursory glance, see what they think is Rin's foot; part of her elbow. Not all that helpful, if morbidly fascinating.]
Do you think we can attempt to position ourselves, should we continue dropping lower?
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[Last time they were caught at the waist, cut in half from top to bottom, and this time it's side to side. It's hard to say if they can time that just right, but...]
Possibly... If we concentrated on what we were doing and didn't look away once.
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[It does matter, actually. The latter is a necessity- the former a need. It's very possible that they're both simply weighing each other down.
They never were good at letting go.]
Unless you have another idea, then I suggest we at least try.
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[Drop everything and get ready, is the natural conclusion to that; it's typical for Rin to explain things thoroughly, but there's no need to say something Chara already understands. The'll do it, the next time that sense of falling strikes.
Whenever that might be.
And here they are again, in a lull that waits for that moment.]
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So Chara hums. They do so unthinkingly, lesser restraint on doing something relatively soothing than usual, a tune they know off by heart.
It is relatively soothing, at least.]
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Hm. Possibly because it's second nature to her, but not to them. That person who thinks so strongly of people over things, reaching out with her hand to their heart.
She's fond of Chara, but that's not like her.
Is it?
This is a crisis, so she needs to get a grip on herself; what she would do instead of they.
Her hand won't let go. That's alright.
Closing her eyes to push back the disorientation, Rin fumbles through options in her head and listens to Chara's quiet humming. The song is sweet. A lullaby, maybe? It feels familiar, but Rin focuses on the part of herself that says she doesn't know it at all.
...Just two weeks ago, the two of them had chatted on the phone. It was probably the start of this mess with everyone's souls; she remembers thinking after she had bonded with Wade, no wonder Chara had been so frightened then. At that time when they were still trying to work things out, Rin remembers advising them to do something to distract themselves. Clapping, singing, humming. Is that what'd they done then?
Is that why they're doing it now, or are they just afraid?
Waiting a bit to get a feel for the melody, Rin begins to hum lightly as well. Instead of a audible mess timed with no consideration, she manages to faintly harmonize the second song with Chara's.]
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Don't hurt yourself badly, that brings your awareness back inside you.
Focus on the physical sensations.
Very little of their history has ever been geared towards putting on the proverbial brakes, nevermind the concept of healthy outlets. It would be funny, almost hilarious, if they took the time to tell her she was the first to ever let them know- hurting themself is bad. Hurting themself means being stuck with themself even more. No piteous attempts at being told how much it would hurt her- just that it would hurt them. That it would continue placing them in a space they don't want to be.
There's every chance they picked up this habit from her. If they did, Chara's hardly about to admit to it, eyes opening as they go quiet, listening to the foreign tune with an almost absent sense of direction. Something is always better than nothing.
The moment they feel their body begin to fall again is almost welcome.]