[-- except what does that even matter, when it's Nee-san who will have to put her down like an infested animal, a cool shot to the temples, while she goes to save the castle and save the world, and then return to Japan to (likely) take what little happiness Sakura has never known.
Now that she knows, Rin won't hesitate. All it will take is a foot out of line.
The deep throbbing of pain has turned constant, no longer a warning but a promise. She manages to climb to her feet despite it - face completely dry, no tears spilled - and views her surroundings with blank recognition. The rooftop garden.
People come here often enough. And so the worms cast around her nerves loosen their hold for a moment, to give the Matou heir her last chance.]
[Behind closed eyes, a vision creeps into her head: a pond, and flowers the bloom even in the snow. There's a treehouse that appeared with no fanfare earlier in the month, tree included. It's thick branches have shielded everything beneath it from the winter, the grass below it untouched by the snow, and it's there from high, high up she sees a figure fall hard to their knees as if shoved.
The garden. Opening her eyes, Rin ends the Shared Perception spell and recalls her familiars to fly back to her room, the platform beneath her feet rumbling as it climbs upward. Oddly, she doesn't remember pushing the button for the rooftop, but her hand must have acted automatically.
Rin feels something grip her heart as sure as two hands, and wonders if that's how it will be, too, when her own feet touch that grass. With Sakura before her, will the resolution to this chapter be clear to her? Without a second thought Rin decides to put her faith in that; that only then for sure will she know what to do.
Whatever that may be, she tells herself she's up for the task.
The worms, she had time to process, are not a torture for Sakura alone. A human body could be devoured by them in as little as minutes, and that they hadn't done so before was not a testament to restraint, but an unwillingness to disturb their nesting grounds so quickly. It wasn't Rin they had gnawed at, but Rin in Sakura's body. Greedily, it hadn't stopped them from consuming her mana however, and the young mage suspects that's the true intent of their design; it's just that other than concerning their host, they make no preference with how they feed. With anyone else, the worms would take their fill: flesh, mana, and bone.
Sakura would not willingly do this, a part of her reasons, and Rin fancies it sounds much like a certain boy. She doesn't find her heart doubting it, only that Sakura Matou has any choice in the matter. To an extent she can likely hold them back, but the worms possess a will of their own, and unlike the Tohsaka Crest, the Matou's worms are very much sentient. If crazed, they could make a heretic out of Sakura, and few in this castle would be safe then.
The Mage's Association may not be here to punish her, but she is still the supervisor of Fuyuki. So long as they're from the same world, Sakura is her responsibility, as is every action she takes.
Kill her, or help her? Can she help her?
The platform beneath her feet shudders and stops, and Rin resolves not to think about it anymore.
Sakura climbs to her feet just as the elevator reaches its destination, and Rin's footsteps crunching in the snow are not far behind that.]
[With her back turned, the Matou girl knows exactly who it is on the elevator. She'd bet yen that Rin had sent at least two familiars to comb the castle when Sakura had turned up missing in her room.
If nothing else, Nee-san is thorough. Sakura's knows; she's had plenty of time to watch her sister watch the rest of the world.
Throughout her body, the worms begin to squirm anew. Perhaps they sense - maybe smell - the presence of a mage, a literal well of mana for the feast. The muscles of her biceps bunch and tighten with increased strain as she keeps her arms stationary, hands clasped at the front. Breathe in, she instructs herself, automatically - keep breathing. Keep control. It's no different than the pit her Grandfather enjoys throwing her in.
She keeps her back turned without a word of greeting, stands on her feet near the garden pool by willpower and prayer alone, and waits numbly for the speech or the bullet.]
[Crunch, crunch. Each footfall is light but slow, the snow crackling underfoot until the moment it doesn't. The moment when Rin's feet tread soft grass instead.
Sakura's back is to her, unflinching, but not at ease. Her shoulder muscles are tensed Rin can see, outlined by her pink cardigan.]
You shouldn't have run.
[Sharply; reprimanding.
She doesn't mean leaving the mess hall and the altar room.]
Not at all what she expected but about what she deserves. It's made all the worse that Sakura's mouth pulls into a harsh line of irritation, her shoulders bristling.
Is... is she being made fun of? Is this Nee-san's attempt at showing concern before she discards her?
They're not in school. They aren't senpai and kohai anymore. Sakura is a poor mage by most standards - Zouken never planned for anything else - but she is aware of the rules and traditions. For all their archaic methods, the Matou line is as saturated in the culture as any other mage family.
She knows what a heretic is. She knows what a hungry nest of worms will mean for the castle.]
Because I made you chase me, Tohsaka-senpai? [Yes, her greatest apologies, for wanting to spare at least one innocent life on her way to the grave]
It's yourself you're making things difficult for, not me.
[That's right. Sakura has no one to blame for herself, for things coming this far. She'd stirred the proverbial hornet's nest, but she would have taken responsibility for that too, but Sakura refused both that or any explanation plainly. And oh, the worms aren't even the only thing she would need to explain.]
Only a guilty person would flee instead of standing their ground.
[Sakura, do you want her to put a blade through your heart?]
[The verdicts keep falling like blades, so swift that Sakura has no time to brace for them. Her head jerks into a bow as if she felt the blow from behind. The words cut to the bone and nearly sever her concentration.
Growing testy at her reluctance to act, the worms dig further into her nerves.
If she willed it, she could jump and cut the distance between them, snap her hands around Rin's neck, or simply drive a spell through the girl's chest simply because her body craves a river of blood. A sacrifice to satisfy. That alone would give her the strength to fight back her Crest for a long while. And she's already been told how people disappear from the castle all the time.
-- it's so hard - she can't tell if the thoughts are hers anymore, or if the worms are egging on whatever emotion will lead to results. At some point she even shuts her eyes, blocks out the sunlight and grits her teeth until her jaw aches.
Breathe. Please, you have to breathe--]
I-- [Her breath hitches and Sakura can't understand why her mind hopes that Rin will read it as shame rather than the strain of keeping the worms quiet] I didn't--
[Rin stands behind her junior, her sister, the only living family she has left in the world — and doesn't allow herself to think of her as any of those things. Right now, she's nothing but Sakura's judge, juror, and executioner.
But she's not cruel.
She will be harsh with her if she has to be. She will do whatever it takes to get the severity of this situation through to Sakura's head, and failing that will stop the beating of her heart, but she doesn't want Sakura to suffer through any of it. Thinking of what she just experienced, Rin can feel the skin on her arm raise like gooseflesh.
To be the Matou heir... Means to be tortured forever.
Sakura has suffered enough, and is suffering more still without her help. Rin watches her shoulders shake, hears the gasps in her breath, her words sounding almost dazed, and speaks only when she's certain Sakura needs the prodding.]
The silent answer rings as a weak excuse. She'd been gritting her teeth before; now Sakura clamps down at her lower lip to keep herself from crying.
Every nightmare since she arrived in the castle has prepared her for this moment, and yet she still hoped that somehow, some way, she'd find proof that Rin cared enough to -- what a silly fool she is. Grandfather would laugh at her.
She feels something spill from her chest; a pinprick starting at the heart, and the waves shudder down her arms and feet, bringing with it a euphoric pain she knows well.]
[Wherever you are, Senpai, she's sorry. You were loved by a fool and a coward.
She's slow to turn, a smooth motion that's without resistance. There are bangs in her face but that's nothing new.
The way she lunges?
A hand is outstretched to grab onto any part of Rin that she can, and in the opposing hand, a weapon made solely of mana solidifies like a spear in her hand]
[The silence is so heavy, even the patter of snowflakes gently kissing the earth sounds like drums; Sakura's turn like the wind that whispers to Zaveid. And with it, Rin feels a spark at the base of her spine, reacting to the surge of magical energy lancing through Sakura's hand before her eyes register the danger.
She wasn't expecting this, but Kirei trained her well. Sakura's hand firmly gasps the shoulder of Rin's coat, but Rin uses that grip and the momentum of Sakura's lunge against her sister. Twisting to dodge the spear sideways, with grit teeth Rin then grasps for Sakura's arm at the elbow and pulls, throwing her with no gentleness to the ground.
Not a moment after she lands, Sakura will find a weight on her stomach and the kiss of steel at her throat: an Azoth dagger. It glints in the light that speckles through the tree branches, and casts silver in Rin's blue eyes.
The threat is very real. Sakura can try something like that a second time, but not fast enough to stop Rin from slitting her throat like an animal in the street.]
[What was left of her mana evaporates into colorless smoke the moment her back hits the ground and air is slammed from her lungs. A complete and abject failure, as she knew it would be from the start. If her worm crest could scream, she'd hear the howling in her ears; instead they slither in protest but don't press their host to fight.
Just as Sakura feels the blade against her neck, the worms have called the outcome of battle. What's left is a husk with one final purpose.
... My, but the sky behind Nee-san's shoulder is the palest winter blue she's ever seen. Sakura feels pain mounting in her chest, daydreams of bodies being eaten away by maggots, but this is the last view of beauty she will see, and staring at a future she couldn't reach is better than acknowledging the contempt in Rin's eyes.
She's a coward to the end, but for all she deserves, Sakura can't bear to know that she was right - that her sister would look at her like this.]
[When Sakura stills beneath her, gaze empty and without a spark of fight in it turned at the sky, Rin thinks she's gotten her point across. The blade at her throat lowers a fraction of an inch, and Rin means to pull back.
Then the body beneath hers spasms. A sharp burst at first, its intensity becomes a wave and Rin locks her knees to keep from being thrown from where she sits, straddling Sakura's stomach. The blade at her throat is pulled back completely, lest she slit her throat accidentally.
Sakura writhes. She screams, and Rin looks down at her sister with unrestrained horror.]
Crimson droplets spray across the snow in an arc, and more thickly against Sakura's jaw. But it's not her delicate neck that has been cut, the apple still bobbing there tirelessly, scream unsilenced.]
Sakura. [She struggles to be heard over those pained cries. It wavers, but louder the second time, her commanding tone brokers no argument as wet fingers prodding at Sakura's mouth.] Sakura, bite down.
[Infused with rich mana, blood oozes down Rin's fingers, spilt like a river from the deep slice in her palm.]
[She's imagined her own death countless times - drawn-out and slow at the edge of a blade; over-the-counter drugs that would bring eternal unconsciousness; a gun placed at her temple; and yes, even the grotesque end others of the Matou line have faced. She made herself believe the method wouldn't matter so long as she could find a release only ghosts have known.
She was wrong.
It hurts. It hurts, and the screams beat in time with the claw marks on her arms, her futile attempts to rip the skin clean off so the worms will stop chewing through her muscles. She can't think through the pain or breathe fast enough to beg Rin for mercy, please, if she ever loved her, she'll do her this one favor--
Nee-san she's scared
-- And then the flip switches; that's how quickly the worms in her body sense a proper offering a mana. Rather than recede, the pain simply stops climbing, but it's enough to quell the hysteria, to sense the tang of blood in her mouth. Another scream still lodged in her throat, Sakura swallows automatically.
One swallow, two. With the concentration of mana in her sister's blood, her crest immediately settles. After the third, Sakura's trembling hand tries to push at Rin's arm, only to find there's no strength behind the request. So instead she pulls her mouth away, head angled to the side. Every breath in her chest rattles like it's her last.
But she keeps breathing, until the shaking relaxes into a compulsive shiver that's left after an upshot of adrenaline.]
[Sakura goes so still, bangs falling around her turned face, to Rin she looks like a broken doll. If you changed their hair colors, she'd look a bit like mother.
The nights Aoi would stop screaming were as sweet as they were scary, too.
The wound in her hand throbs as Rin carefully climbs off of Sakura, sharp and still oozing. She needn't have cut it that deeply, but she hadn't thinking properly then. The Azoth dagger is dropped to the snow to free up her uninjured hand, which snakes to the side of Sakura's neck to track her pulse. Against her fingertips, Sakura's skin feels clammy with shock she thinks, but her heart races like a rabbit's. The sudden stress would have done her no favors, let alone the damage from the worms.
The worms...
Sakura had been dying. Her agonized wails had shocked her like a dunk in an icy river, and so she had acted knowing it had to be something to do with them, but not fully comprehending what. Counting Sakura's precious gasps of air now that the danger has passed, it slowly begins to settle in for her just what the worms had done. What they'd been trying to do. They'd—
Nausea claims her swiftly, taking her stomach and spinning it in somersaults. Paces away from injured girl, Rin wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and prays to Kirei's stupid god that Sakura was too out of it to hear her getting sick just now.
With a shaky breath she covers the signs of her distress and her spilled blood with more snow before crawling back to Sakura. Gently she pats one cheek.]
Sakura? [She's not sure if she expects a response.] We can't stay out here like this. Even if it's night, someone could see us.
[She works her arm around Sakura's back, easing her into a sitting position with a hushed warning.] I'm going to move you now.
[Rin moves her, and Sakura's head rolls like a pound of dead weight attached at the neck. The side of her face hits her sister's shoulder and strangely, that is what rouses her, eyes fluttering to reveal a deadened stare aced with pain.]
Mm.
[The softest noise of agreement, scratched thin and ragged from her screaming. She's still shaking, but Rin will find the Matou girl aware enough to follow the simple orders that coax her to her feet.
It's for the best that she's barely holding onto consciousness. The shame and embarrassment would be too much to handle otherwise. Her bones and joints crack like dry timber when she stands, every movement resulting in a wheeze, and it's clear it will be Rin's responsibility to keep her from falling and folding into a broken pile.]
I... didn't feed.... Happy...
[The words circle, beat at her like a dove's wing, and-- it's strange, how she hadn't cried when the worms were trying to eat her organs. Now the tears gather and she makes no move to wipe the few that crawl down her face]
[Luckily, Rin's strength is up to the task. Sakura is heavy against her, more dead weight than reliable support, and Rin doesn't ask more of her than she's able to give. Without prompting, she slings one of the Matou girl's arms over her shoulder and holds it there, then wraps her free arm firmly around the girl's middle.
She can't feel the wetness that seeps into her shoulder, Sakura's tears spilled against a heavy winter coat. But her sister's breath is hot against her neck; hears each wheeze amplified like nails on a chalkboard, and each rasp with the scrape of sandpaper. She almost doesn't hear Sakura's bemoaning for it, a whisper akin to a fever dream.
Something so ridiculous can't be anything but with the way she's talking. Of all the things to be focused on right now, it's Happy at the front of her mind? Rin scoffs, and begins pulling her along.]
Don't mind that. [Blandly. Rin is almost impressed with herself, for how calm she sounds. She doesn't feel calm.] I'll see to her later.
[With five heavy steps forward, she happens to look down and spot a shining ruby at her feet. Then another. Rin turns her head to look over her shoulder finding more still, small and sprinkled like paint drops over the white powder. The wound in her hand oozes blood only faster, wrung from how tightly she grips Sakura's wrist.
Finally, she sees the tears straining her coat too. She chooses not to comment on them.]
If we go in looking like this, people will ask unnecessary questions.
[Rin doesn't think Sakura is really understanding her by this point, but she talks for the sake of talking. With a shrug to adjust her weight better, careful not to jostle that heavy head, she shifts their course away from the elevator.]
Luckily, we have this treehouse. I don't want to leave a trail, so we'll use it for now. It should suit our purposes just fine.
[At least until she comes up with a better plan. It disturbs Rin how blank her mind is right now. Usually so sharp, her capacity to plot things out is failing her suddenly, leaving her clinging to the first good idea that comes to mind like a life preserver. How to swim to shore... that part can come later.
Getting across the bridge is tricky with the way it wobbles, but not undoable. Soon they're faced with the door, and Rin lets her grip slide from Sakura's waist momentarily to twist the handle.]
[Sakura's lament has drained her of a voice again; for Rin's troubles, the only answers she'll get are the silences hidden between the falling snowflakes, and the girl's head droops back into a hanged position.
It's no different by the time they've reached the treehouse's entrance, and Rin briefly releases Sakura to do battle with the handle. Purple hair, nearly colored black by the lack of sunlight, sticks in damp clumps against the girl's sweating forehead and cheeks, one strand somehow caught on her eyelashes. The itch is met with distant, muted surprise, that there exists sensation outside the throb of her body.
The curse of every mage who comes into their crests; really, it's a blessedly normal response given everything that's happened. Even if she had the mind to speak, the sharp pitch in her core temperature wouldn't be worth addressing. The worms have damaged their breeding grounds; sentient enough to recognize that healing must be done, they don't interfere with the immune system's response. Sakura feels sweat trickle down the side of her face much like shed tears, the beginnings of a fever, and simply notes the tickle through the pain.
Eventually, they move again. Rin's arm repositions itself around her waist. If Sakura could sew any type of thought together, she'd wonder how she's managed to stay standing for so long. Might have been proud of her tenacity, at one point.
But the self-congratulation, even hypothetical, is a mistake, an excuse for her legs to buckle and abruptly hand more of her weight over to Rin. Gravity takes her by the wrists and she pitches forward like a corpse.]
[She's getting worse quickly, though that's to be expected. Rin might not be familiar with the feeling of worms harvesting her organs and flesh (or wasn't until today, hahaha), but she's suffered through enough flare-ups from her own Magic Crest to know how debilitating they can be. Though the last time she was as bad as this... She thinks it was when she was a young girl, still adjusting to the transplants.
Even that must be an underestimate.
If Matou Zouken were here now, she could murder him. She wants him to be the face she sees when they reach the top of those stairs, and the sadistic freak is probably the one who would make a staircase like this so narrow, making it hard to move up. For such an adult looking house, everything is too small, like it was made for—
Her complaints (and some of them she may have been voicing out loud) stop dead when Sakura's rasping wheezes are interrupted with a sound more akin to a sigh, her head lolling from Rin's shoulder and knees cracking against the steps when her feet slip.
The narrowed space they're in becomes a blessing instead of a curse, allowing Rin to brace herself against the walls but still use both hands to catch Sakura before her upper body follows suit.]
...S-Sakura?
[Her voice sounds to weak to be her own.
None too gently, she turns her sister just enough so she can properly see her face. There's no response, save for a thin sliver of white from Sakura's eyes as they roll back and slide shut. But her breathing is still audible (troubled, but audible), and the pulse under Rin's fingertips still even.
Rin breathes a shaky sigh of relief. It's okay. It's... Well, if not okay, then manageable. She just fell unconscious.]
That's fine. ...Yeah. [She continues to narrate to herself, repositioning Sakura's body so that she can pull her over her shoulder in a fireman's carry. Not like anything has changed from before, huh?] If anything, it makes it easier on me.
The stairway isn't cramped like this. And more importantly, it's for sure you won't remember a thing...
[...
Yeah. It wouldn't change anything for Sakura to be awake for this. Hopefully she'll forget the rest too.]
[They reach the second floor in silence. The bed on the side of the room is child-sized, but Sakura is small. It won't be cramped for her.
With great care she slides the younger girl from her shoulders, laying her atop the blankets, standing beside the bed unsurely for a moment. The moonlight streaming through the window doesn't seem like enough to go so Rin finds her body stiffly leaning over Sakura's to reach the string of a lamp tucked into corner, faintly surprised to find the light work when she pulls back its chain.
She leans away again.
Now... Now she should clean Sakura up. No, she should treat her first, or maybe find someone to help?
Rin swallows, and it hurts. Her mouth feels as dry as a desert. The faces that come to mind of who she could rely on don't leave her assured, but unbalanced instead. There's not a single one she can picture herself willingly going to. Even Kirei she would take above them now; someone who knows her exact nature and all of her secrets.
She hates herself a little for trusting the fake priest more than anyone in the castle.
But mostly she can't stop staring at her hands, a sound like a sob trapped in her throat. What's wrong with her? When did they start shaking?]
[ Look, the downside to having a vessel is he knows some things through the pact. Rin's in some kind of distress - it's a little unfamiliar twinge... somewhere, inside his head, but it doesn't come with the tug of adrenaline or things that say he probably should hop over to try to help physically.
She's a strong girl, he will just... let her know about that part of the pact working bright and clear later! Right. Time to let her ... do her thing!
... She's not feeling any better. .... Okay, Zaveid really shouldn't meddle, right? There's that thing where you tell them too much, but there's also letting people stew.
And stewing is ... the exact opposite of what he needs in a vessel. Lailah would be so much better for this, her experience in having Shepherds and-
... Well.
The first hint that Zaveid is about is that the breeze stirs in some very odd patterns. Sure, the wind's always about, but there's a hint of mana to it. A hint that becomes solidified as Zaveid forms out of the air before the door, blinking at a blood trail. Yep, he had scented that right. ]
... Hey, Rin, y'need some bandages in there?
[ .... Well, that's one way to let her know he's there, right? ]
[Rin doesn't jump at the sound of his voice. She freezes.]
...I'm fine.
[The response comes robotically, level and in control and her back to him.
She's not fine. Even if her distress wasn't palpable to him, the trembling in her legs and shoulders gives her away.
Still she tries. It's not whatever wound she has that must concern him, she knows; it seems too coincidental for Zaveid of all people to be here. She doesn't know what brought him, but it feels important to convince him it's not necessary.]
[ He doesn't even really need to know her to know that's full of shit. The wind doesn't need him trying to see through it for him to know that she's not.
The thump of him against the wall is sort of just... yeah, he's not actually gunna go anywhere, Rin. Maybe he's just staying right here for now, but... ]
So y'got the bandages covered, gotcha.
[ Light, cheerful, and full of knowing that what she just said is full of bullshit. ]
Maybe y'should know, with the whole pact thing and bein' my vessel, I kinda get a feel on if things are flippin' your day upside down. Or at least, when it's nice and settled in.
[ ... Zaveid really knows you're full of it right now Rin. He gets it - he really does, sometimes you just don't need other people to try to help, or maybe other people are gunna make it a fucking mess when they - eventually, inevitably - leave, buuut...
It is kinda, sorta, a little late to be shoving him a way. ]
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3/3
Now that she knows, Rin won't hesitate. All it will take is a foot out of line.
The deep throbbing of pain has turned constant, no longer a warning but a promise. She manages to climb to her feet despite it - face completely dry, no tears spilled - and views her surroundings with blank recognition. The rooftop garden.
People come here often enough. And so the worms cast around her nerves loosen their hold for a moment, to give the Matou heir her last chance.]
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The garden. Opening her eyes, Rin ends the Shared Perception spell and recalls her familiars to fly back to her room, the platform beneath her feet rumbling as it climbs upward. Oddly, she doesn't remember pushing the button for the rooftop, but her hand must have acted automatically.
Rin feels something grip her heart as sure as two hands, and wonders if that's how it will be, too, when her own feet touch that grass. With Sakura before her, will the resolution to this chapter be clear to her? Without a second thought Rin decides to put her faith in that; that only then for sure will she know what to do.
Whatever that may be, she tells herself she's up for the task.
The worms, she had time to process, are not a torture for Sakura alone. A human body could be devoured by them in as little as minutes, and that they hadn't done so before was not a testament to restraint, but an unwillingness to disturb their nesting grounds so quickly. It wasn't Rin they had gnawed at, but Rin in Sakura's body. Greedily, it hadn't stopped them from consuming her mana however, and the young mage suspects that's the true intent of their design; it's just that other than concerning their host, they make no preference with how they feed. With anyone else, the worms would take their fill: flesh, mana, and bone.
Sakura would not willingly do this, a part of her reasons, and Rin fancies it sounds much like a certain boy. She doesn't find her heart doubting it, only that Sakura Matou has any choice in the matter. To an extent she can likely hold them back, but the worms possess a will of their own, and unlike the Tohsaka Crest, the Matou's worms are very much sentient. If crazed, they could make a heretic out of Sakura, and few in this castle would be safe then.
The Mage's Association may not be here to punish her, but she is still the supervisor of Fuyuki. So long as they're from the same world, Sakura is her responsibility, as is every action she takes.
Kill her, or help her? Can she help her?
The platform beneath her feet shudders and stops, and Rin resolves not to think about it anymore.
Sakura climbs to her feet just as the elevator reaches its destination, and Rin's footsteps crunching in the snow are not far behind that.]
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If nothing else, Nee-san is thorough. Sakura's knows; she's had plenty of time to watch her sister watch the rest of the world.
Throughout her body, the worms begin to squirm anew. Perhaps they sense - maybe smell - the presence of a mage, a literal well of mana for the feast. The muscles of her biceps bunch and tighten with increased strain as she keeps her arms stationary, hands clasped at the front. Breathe in, she instructs herself, automatically - keep breathing. Keep control. It's no different than the pit her Grandfather enjoys throwing her in.
She keeps her back turned without a word of greeting, stands on her feet near the garden pool by willpower and prayer alone, and waits numbly for the speech or the bullet.]
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Sakura's back is to her, unflinching, but not at ease. Her shoulder muscles are tensed Rin can see, outlined by her pink cardigan.]
You shouldn't have run.
[Sharply; reprimanding.
She doesn't mean leaving the mess hall and the altar room.]
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Not at all what she expected but about what she deserves. It's made all the worse that Sakura's mouth pulls into a harsh line of irritation, her shoulders bristling.
Is... is she being made fun of? Is this Nee-san's attempt at showing concern before she discards her?
They're not in school. They aren't senpai and kohai anymore. Sakura is a poor mage by most standards - Zouken never planned for anything else - but she is aware of the rules and traditions. For all their archaic methods, the Matou line is as saturated in the culture as any other mage family.
She knows what a heretic is. She knows what a hungry nest of worms will mean for the castle.]
Because I made you chase me, Tohsaka-senpai? [Yes, her greatest apologies, for wanting to spare at least one innocent life on her way to the grave]
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[That's right. Sakura has no one to blame for herself, for things coming this far. She'd stirred the proverbial hornet's nest, but she would have taken responsibility for that too, but Sakura refused both that or any explanation plainly. And oh, the worms aren't even the only thing she would need to explain.]
Only a guilty person would flee instead of standing their ground.
[Sakura, do you want her to put a blade through your heart?]
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Growing testy at her reluctance to act, the worms dig further into her nerves.
If she willed it, she could jump and cut the distance between them, snap her hands around Rin's neck, or simply drive a spell through the girl's chest simply because her body craves a river of blood. A sacrifice to satisfy. That alone would give her the strength to fight back her Crest for a long while. And she's already been told how people disappear from the castle all the time.
-- it's so hard - she can't tell if the thoughts are hers anymore, or if the worms are egging on whatever emotion will lead to results. At some point she even shuts her eyes, blocks out the sunlight and grits her teeth until her jaw aches.
Breathe. Please, you have to breathe--]
I-- [Her breath hitches and Sakura can't understand why her mind hopes that Rin will read it as shame rather than the strain of keeping the worms quiet] I didn't--
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But she's not cruel.
She will be harsh with her if she has to be. She will do whatever it takes to get the severity of this situation through to Sakura's head, and failing that will stop the beating of her heart, but she doesn't want Sakura to suffer through any of it. Thinking of what she just experienced, Rin can feel the skin on her arm raise like gooseflesh.
To be the Matou heir... Means to be tortured forever.
Sakura has suffered enough, and is suffering more still without her help. Rin watches her shoulders shake, hears the gasps in her breath, her words sounding almost dazed, and speaks only when she's certain Sakura needs the prodding.]
...Didn't what?
1/2
The silent answer rings as a weak excuse. She'd been gritting her teeth before; now Sakura clamps down at her lower lip to keep herself from crying.
Every nightmare since she arrived in the castle has prepared her for this moment, and yet she still hoped that somehow, some way, she'd find proof that Rin cared enough to -- what a silly fool she is. Grandfather would laugh at her.
She feels something spill from her chest; a pinprick starting at the heart, and the waves shudder down her arms and feet, bringing with it a euphoric pain she knows well.]
/lights herself on fire to hold back the tears
She's slow to turn, a smooth motion that's without resistance. There are bangs in her face but that's nothing new.
The way she lunges?
A hand is outstretched to grab onto any part of Rin that she can, and in the opposing hand, a weapon made solely of mana solidifies like a spear in her hand]
Can I join you, I brought gasoline
She wasn't expecting this, but Kirei trained her well. Sakura's hand firmly gasps the shoulder of Rin's coat, but Rin uses that grip and the momentum of Sakura's lunge against her sister. Twisting to dodge the spear sideways, with grit teeth Rin then grasps for Sakura's arm at the elbow and pulls, throwing her with no gentleness to the ground.
Not a moment after she lands, Sakura will find a weight on her stomach and the kiss of steel at her throat: an Azoth dagger. It glints in the light that speckles through the tree branches, and casts silver in Rin's blue eyes.
The threat is very real. Sakura can try something like that a second time, but not fast enough to stop Rin from slitting her throat like an animal in the street.]
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Just as Sakura feels the blade against her neck, the worms have called the outcome of battle. What's left is a husk with one final purpose.
... My, but the sky behind Nee-san's shoulder is the palest winter blue she's ever seen. Sakura feels pain mounting in her chest, daydreams of bodies being eaten away by maggots, but this is the last view of beauty she will see, and staring at a future she couldn't reach is better than acknowledging the contempt in Rin's eyes.
She's a coward to the end, but for all she deserves, Sakura can't bear to know that she was right - that her sister would look at her like this.]
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Then the body beneath hers spasms. A sharp burst at first, its intensity becomes a wave and Rin locks her knees to keep from being thrown from where she sits, straddling Sakura's stomach. The blade at her throat is pulled back completely, lest she slit her throat accidentally.
Sakura writhes. She screams, and Rin looks down at her sister with unrestrained horror.]
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Crimson droplets spray across the snow in an arc, and more thickly against Sakura's jaw. But it's not her delicate neck that has been cut, the apple still bobbing there tirelessly, scream unsilenced.]
Sakura. [She struggles to be heard over those pained cries. It wavers, but louder the second time, her commanding tone brokers no argument as wet fingers prodding at Sakura's mouth.] Sakura, bite down.
[Infused with rich mana, blood oozes down Rin's fingers, spilt like a river from the deep slice in her palm.]
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She was wrong.
It hurts. It hurts, and the screams beat in time with the claw marks on her arms, her futile attempts to rip the skin clean off so the worms will stop chewing through her muscles. She can't think through the pain or breathe fast enough to beg Rin for mercy, please, if she ever loved her, she'll do her this one favor--
Nee-san she's scared
-- And then the flip switches; that's how quickly the worms in her body sense a proper offering a mana. Rather than recede, the pain simply stops climbing, but it's enough to quell the hysteria, to sense the tang of blood in her mouth. Another scream still lodged in her throat, Sakura swallows automatically.
One swallow, two. With the concentration of mana in her sister's blood, her crest immediately settles. After the third, Sakura's trembling hand tries to push at Rin's arm, only to find there's no strength behind the request. So instead she pulls her mouth away, head angled to the side. Every breath in her chest rattles like it's her last.
But she keeps breathing, until the shaking relaxes into a compulsive shiver that's left after an upshot of adrenaline.]
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The nights Aoi would stop screaming were as sweet as they were scary, too.
The wound in her hand throbs as Rin carefully climbs off of Sakura, sharp and still oozing. She needn't have cut it that deeply, but she hadn't thinking properly then. The Azoth dagger is dropped to the snow to free up her uninjured hand, which snakes to the side of Sakura's neck to track her pulse. Against her fingertips, Sakura's skin feels clammy with shock she thinks, but her heart races like a rabbit's. The sudden stress would have done her no favors, let alone the damage from the worms.
The worms...
Sakura had been dying. Her agonized wails had shocked her like a dunk in an icy river, and so she had acted knowing it had to be something to do with them, but not fully comprehending what. Counting Sakura's precious gasps of air now that the danger has passed, it slowly begins to settle in for her just what the worms had done. What they'd been trying to do. They'd—
Nausea claims her swiftly, taking her stomach and spinning it in somersaults. Paces away from injured girl, Rin wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and prays to Kirei's stupid god that Sakura was too out of it to hear her getting sick just now.
With a shaky breath she covers the signs of her distress and her spilled blood with more snow before crawling back to Sakura. Gently she pats one cheek.]
Sakura? [She's not sure if she expects a response.] We can't stay out here like this. Even if it's night, someone could see us.
[She works her arm around Sakura's back, easing her into a sitting position with a hushed warning.] I'm going to move you now.
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Mm.
[The softest noise of agreement, scratched thin and ragged from her screaming. She's still shaking, but Rin will find the Matou girl aware enough to follow the simple orders that coax her to her feet.
It's for the best that she's barely holding onto consciousness. The shame and embarrassment would be too much to handle otherwise. Her bones and joints crack like dry timber when she stands, every movement resulting in a wheeze, and it's clear it will be Rin's responsibility to keep her from falling and folding into a broken pile.]
I... didn't feed.... Happy...
[The words circle, beat at her like a dove's wing, and-- it's strange, how she hadn't cried when the worms were trying to eat her organs. Now the tears gather and she makes no move to wipe the few that crawl down her face]
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She can't feel the wetness that seeps into her shoulder, Sakura's tears spilled against a heavy winter coat. But her sister's breath is hot against her neck; hears each wheeze amplified like nails on a chalkboard, and each rasp with the scrape of sandpaper. She almost doesn't hear Sakura's bemoaning for it, a whisper akin to a fever dream.
Something so ridiculous can't be anything but with the way she's talking. Of all the things to be focused on right now, it's Happy at the front of her mind? Rin scoffs, and begins pulling her along.]
Don't mind that. [Blandly. Rin is almost impressed with herself, for how calm she sounds. She doesn't feel calm.] I'll see to her later.
[With five heavy steps forward, she happens to look down and spot a shining ruby at her feet. Then another. Rin turns her head to look over her shoulder finding more still, small and sprinkled like paint drops over the white powder. The wound in her hand oozes blood only faster, wrung from how tightly she grips Sakura's wrist.
Finally, she sees the tears straining her coat too. She chooses not to comment on them.]
If we go in looking like this, people will ask unnecessary questions.
[Rin doesn't think Sakura is really understanding her by this point, but she talks for the sake of talking. With a shrug to adjust her weight better, careful not to jostle that heavy head, she shifts their course away from the elevator.]
Luckily, we have this treehouse. I don't want to leave a trail, so we'll use it for now. It should suit our purposes just fine.
[At least until she comes up with a better plan. It disturbs Rin how blank her mind is right now. Usually so sharp, her capacity to plot things out is failing her suddenly, leaving her clinging to the first good idea that comes to mind like a life preserver. How to swim to shore... that part can come later.
Getting across the bridge is tricky with the way it wobbles, but not undoable. Soon they're faced with the door, and Rin lets her grip slide from Sakura's waist momentarily to twist the handle.]
You're still with me? We're here.
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It's no different by the time they've reached the treehouse's entrance, and Rin briefly releases Sakura to do battle with the handle. Purple hair, nearly colored black by the lack of sunlight, sticks in damp clumps against the girl's sweating forehead and cheeks, one strand somehow caught on her eyelashes. The itch is met with distant, muted surprise, that there exists sensation outside the throb of her body.
The curse of every mage who comes into their crests; really, it's a blessedly normal response given everything that's happened. Even if she had the mind to speak, the sharp pitch in her core temperature wouldn't be worth addressing. The worms have damaged their breeding grounds; sentient enough to recognize that healing must be done, they don't interfere with the immune system's response. Sakura feels sweat trickle down the side of her face much like shed tears, the beginnings of a fever, and simply notes the tickle through the pain.
Eventually, they move again. Rin's arm repositions itself around her waist. If Sakura could sew any type of thought together, she'd wonder how she's managed to stay standing for so long. Might have been proud of her tenacity, at one point.
But the self-congratulation, even hypothetical, is a mistake, an excuse for her legs to buckle and abruptly hand more of her weight over to Rin. Gravity takes her by the wrists and she pitches forward like a corpse.]
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Even that must be an underestimate.
If Matou Zouken were here now, she could murder him. She wants him to be the face she sees when they reach the top of those stairs, and the sadistic freak is probably the one who would make a staircase like this so narrow, making it hard to move up. For such an adult looking house, everything is too small, like it was made for—
Her complaints (and some of them she may have been voicing out loud) stop dead when Sakura's rasping wheezes are interrupted with a sound more akin to a sigh, her head lolling from Rin's shoulder and knees cracking against the steps when her feet slip.
The narrowed space they're in becomes a blessing instead of a curse, allowing Rin to brace herself against the walls but still use both hands to catch Sakura before her upper body follows suit.]
...S-Sakura?
[Her voice sounds to weak to be her own.
None too gently, she turns her sister just enough so she can properly see her face. There's no response, save for a thin sliver of white from Sakura's eyes as they roll back and slide shut. But her breathing is still audible (troubled, but audible), and the pulse under Rin's fingertips still even.
Rin breathes a shaky sigh of relief. It's okay. It's... Well, if not okay, then manageable. She just fell unconscious.]
That's fine. ...Yeah. [She continues to narrate to herself, repositioning Sakura's body so that she can pull her over her shoulder in a fireman's carry. Not like anything has changed from before, huh?] If anything, it makes it easier on me.
The stairway isn't cramped like this. And more importantly, it's for sure you won't remember a thing...
[...
Yeah. It wouldn't change anything for Sakura to be awake for this. Hopefully she'll forget the rest too.]
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With great care she slides the younger girl from her shoulders, laying her atop the blankets, standing beside the bed unsurely for a moment. The moonlight streaming through the window doesn't seem like enough to go so Rin finds her body stiffly leaning over Sakura's to reach the string of a lamp tucked into corner, faintly surprised to find the light work when she pulls back its chain.
She leans away again.
Now... Now she should clean Sakura up. No, she should treat her first, or maybe find someone to help?
Rin swallows, and it hurts. Her mouth feels as dry as a desert. The faces that come to mind of who she could rely on don't leave her assured, but unbalanced instead. There's not a single one she can picture herself willingly going to. Even Kirei she would take above them now; someone who knows her exact nature and all of her secrets.
She hates herself a little for trusting the fake priest more than anyone in the castle.
But mostly she can't stop staring at her hands, a sound like a sob trapped in her throat. What's wrong with her? When did they start shaking?]
surprise seraph
She's a strong girl, he will just... let her know about that part of the pact working bright and clear later! Right. Time to let her ... do her thing!
... She's not feeling any better. .... Okay, Zaveid really shouldn't meddle, right? There's that thing where you tell them too much, but there's also letting people stew.
And stewing is ... the exact opposite of what he needs in a vessel. Lailah would be so much better for this, her experience in having Shepherds and-
... Well.
The first hint that Zaveid is about is that the breeze stirs in some very odd patterns. Sure, the wind's always about, but there's a hint of mana to it. A hint that becomes solidified as Zaveid forms out of the air before the door, blinking at a blood trail. Yep, he had scented that right. ]
... Hey, Rin, y'need some bandages in there?
[ .... Well, that's one way to let her know he's there, right? ]
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...I'm fine.
[The response comes robotically, level and in control and her back to him.
She's not fine. Even if her distress wasn't palpable to him, the trembling in her legs and shoulders gives her away.
Still she tries. It's not whatever wound she has that must concern him, she knows; it seems too coincidental for Zaveid of all people to be here. She doesn't know what brought him, but it feels important to convince him it's not necessary.]
You can go. I don't need you here.
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The thump of him against the wall is sort of just... yeah, he's not actually gunna go anywhere, Rin. Maybe he's just staying right here for now, but... ]
So y'got the bandages covered, gotcha.
[ Light, cheerful, and full of knowing that what she just said is full of bullshit. ]
Maybe y'should know, with the whole pact thing and bein' my vessel, I kinda get a feel on if things are flippin' your day upside down. Or at least, when it's nice and settled in.
[ ... Zaveid really knows you're full of it right now Rin. He gets it - he really does, sometimes you just don't need other people to try to help, or maybe other people are gunna make it a fucking mess when they - eventually, inevitably - leave, buuut...
It is kinda, sorta, a little late to be shoving him a way. ]
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