[Luckily the damage wasn't more serious than that. Posed over her in the snow, to Rin, Sakura's agonized screams and convulsions had seem to stretch in slow motion. In reality, she realizes it was probably but a matter of seconds.
If it had been longer, had the worms done more, Rin's not certain the healing spells at her disposal would be enough. Watching the lines of Sakura's face relax comes as a relief to her, a reassurance that's not the case.
It doesn't make her breathe easier, though there is a sad smile on her face in its place. Proud of the outcome maybe, or relieved. She knew it would work, of course, just as surely as her heart echoes the sentiment of Zaveid's words.
Quiet hangs heavy in the air, Rin's expression unchanging.]
...It was unavoidable.
[Yeah, thinking back on it, there was no better outcome.]
If anything, one of us should be dead.
[A statement like that just invites more questions, but she probably owes answers to Zaveid by this point anyways if he chooses to ask that much.
Gently, Rin lowers Sakura back down to the bed, smoothing the hair from her forehead to reapply the cool cloth.]
She tried to kill me. [Rin says this plainly, as if it doesn't effect her at all. It doesn't actually. Not that part.]
Sakura was trying to save herself. [In more ways than one.] I came out to the roof with the intention of killing her myself, so it's not like I can begrudge her at all.
[And while that confession stirs something pained within her that she doesn't show on her face, it doesn't match the intensity of what was upsetting her before.]
[Her hair shifts, ends fluttering on the brief breeze like a kite's tail as she looks away from. The winds will whisper to him something more turbulent in her now, as she's caught reflecting on the aftermath. Hiding her face won't hide that from him, as hard as she tries, but she can't fight that instinct. It's like a self-defense mechanism to protect herself.
What nearly happened... Drawing her knees up to her chest, Rin's fingers are as white as bone holding her shins. It makes her stomach turn with horror again just thinking about it, and a grief so thick its choking. With it trickle thoughts from before, her realization from the bodyswap of the torture Sakura has had to live through, needling at the weaknesses in her heart with expert precision.
I couldn't. I couldn't let her die like that.]
There was an accident. I acted without thinking.
[Her eyes find Sakura again, guilty of something, but there's no regret to be found there. She wouldn't change that decision.]
...If she won't cooperate, it's possible I'll still have to kill her when she wakes up. I want to avoid that. After all of the effort I put into keeping her alive, it would be too much of a waste.
[That's true, isn't it? Until that moment, despite all of the thoughts buzzing through her head like angry hornets, she'd been indecisive. Everything became less complicated in that moment.
Even if it makes it worse in the long run, like Zaveid says, that comforts her on some level. Rin Tohsaka is a very proud person. She's pretty sure she can trust those instincts.
But to his offer she has to shake her head, lifting it from it came to rest in the crook of her knees.]
It's up to her, and what she wants to do. I'll give her a choice. She just needs to make the right one.
[Despite what Rin said, that she had come to the roof with the intention of killing Sakura, that was a half-truth. She'd genuinely wanted to hear what the other girl had to say first, but... Well, the conversation had broken down quickly.]
I want her to have a clear head when she considers it. If you want to help, you can keep an eye on her.
[Rin brushes her hair back off her shoulders.] We'll need to move her by mid-afternoon at the latest, whether she's awake or not. But if she wakes up before then and seems coherent, fetch me and I'll chat with her.
I already said my heal's suck, but what one of 'em is good for is clearin heads. Or at least makes thinking a bit easier. Wonderful for hangovers, might be why its like that, now that I think on it.
If y'want, I can do that for the both of you, before I give you two some time. Or let her think its just the two of you, either works for me. [ Even if he wandered out, its... likely he'd still listen in. Not sorry Rin. ]
You can go take a pace about the garden, or something. Unless you're more nocturnal than most. [ ... Or can manage to sleep, actually, thinking about it that might be the higher risk. Traumatic things either make you sleep like a rock, or not sleep at all, isn't that how humans work? ]
[She is, actually. Her magical energy levels are at their highest at 2 AM, making that the time she transfers a little of her mana into jewels. Though tonight, there may not be time for it.]
I have a laundry list of things to do. Some mindless tasks will do the trick fine.
[There's cleaning up the mess she left behind outside and in this house. She should go about making that medicine; hopefully it will agree with Sakura well enough. She promised her, too, that she would feed Happy.]
If you clear my head any more by the time I'm done with it all, I'll be a zombie.
[But it's appreciated, with Sakura. Honestly, Rin suspects the fever wouldn't be the only thing crowding her sister's judgment. She's seen now what the worms can do to their host when crazed, but she wouldn't be surprised if they continue to mildly influence her too even in day-to-day things.
Sakura must have impeccable control, Rin realizes, for her to have never noticed before. The thought is depressing, so she locks it away.
That leaves her with the last matter. Zaveid's going to be listening in, huh...]
Well, I'd rather not get chewed on, so I'll pass on any zombies. [ Not that Zombies are a particularly terrible hellion to face, but that's a smile and hint of a story she can ask about later.
He waves her on to her mindless task list. ]
I'll let you know she's up, wait for you to show, pass a concentrate over, and head off, if you want.
[ Although, as she said, he is Mr Wind Tells Me Things, so it wouldn't be too surprising if him being in the castle somewhere didn't stop him from knowing bits of what they talk about. ]
Why? You won't actually leave. Not even if I tell you to.
[Bluntly spoken, but not accusing. Zaveid has her full focus, but her sharp gaze isn't angry with him. She's stating the simple facts.
The wind whispers to him and he listens. Rin has no idea how well exactly he can ignore that, but even if the answer is well,, she suspects he'd eavesdrop anyways. He's the rebellious sort; at a bare minimum, he'd do it to check on her.
If she needed more evidence of that, tonight's given her all the proof necessary. No matter what she said to him, he wouldn't go.
Perhaps the realization should upset her, but it doesn't. It's something she can't change, and so the look on Rin's face is one of calm acceptance.]
I'd extract a different promise from you instead, if you'll listen.
[ There's a subtle shift at her wording. Zaveid tilts his head to the side, those bangs falling out of his line of sight as he studies her. ]
Oh? [ Light and airy as usual, is his tone, but there might be something about those orange eyes that says maybe.. her words need to be carefully picked.
.. Little bit of an odd change, but Zaveid's not saying anything further yet. ]
[His eyes are sharper, Rin notes. His tone is as mischievous as always, but there's an intensity there that was missing before. She wonders the reason behind it, but ultimately not enough to think long and hard on it. It doesn't change what she wants to say. If it did, her request wouldn't be sincere or worth mentioning to him at all.
Rin breathes in, then out, and speaks from the heart without apology.]
The lifestyles of magi are... [Her fingers twitch as if to hold something. They rest.] Complicated. We have many secrets and suffer many hardships. Sakura and I have history together as well, that has been deeply colored by all of this. Due to the nature of the things I have to discuss with her, it's inevitable you'll overhear much of it.
For her sake and mine, please don't spread what you hear.
[ And at her words, it's gone. Yeah, that's simple and easy enough. ]
The wind carries many things. This'll be something it can carry off to sea, rather than into the castle. [ .. and the actual wind direction shifts, blowing off the rooftop and out toward the ocean to match. ]
No one will hear of the events up here from me, if you like. Well, guessing her mage thing isn't terribly well known, but only thing I'd say about that is, if it matches you, that whole thing against medicine you guys don't make.
[Again she can't help but think he's so dramatic, but she likes that about him too. When he gets this way, speaking with not just his words but his element, it leaves Rin with the feeling that he means it all. It might be a small thing to him, but from the way she relaxes, it clearly carried a lot of weight to her. She looks grateful as she picks herself up from the ground.]
That much I'll allow. If anything, I suspect Sakura's more sensitive than I am... [She brushes herself off.] Keeping her out of the infirmary is for the best. If that becomes relevant in the future, yes, you're free to mention it.
[ He has his share of skeletons - some literal and potentially moving, or previously moving - so he can't say much. It seems small to him, but... perhaps arrogantly, a lot of human concerns are small. They usually don't last much longer than a century, after all. ]
Further in line with keeping her alive, hmn? [ So whatever he might overhear is pretty bad to other humans, at the very least.
Zaveid waves at her. ]
Go about your list. I'm pretty good at waiting for people to wake up.
[She should be more careful with her words, she thinks. Not because she doesn't care for Sakura — of course she does — but if a difficult decision must be made, it'll be all the harder if she keeps talking about a future like this. Zaveid's comment only highlights this to her.
She'll have to cross that bridge when she gets to it, Rin supposes. The more she considers it, honestly, she thinks the offer she has for Sakura is an appealing one. Would she really refuse it? If she can be accused of being too optimistic, it's only because to Rin's sensibilities, the matter should be rendered a non-issue.
Feeling more confident than before, a bit more collected, she nods to Zaveid and turns to go.]
Right. I'm off, then. You know how to get in touch with me if something changes.
[Clearing her mind of everything that happened before, the distress that still grips her heart might remain, but its hold is looser. By burying it without processing it, she can get through the night.]
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If it had been longer, had the worms done more, Rin's not certain the healing spells at her disposal would be enough. Watching the lines of Sakura's face relax comes as a relief to her, a reassurance that's not the case.
It doesn't make her breathe easier, though there is a sad smile on her face in its place. Proud of the outcome maybe, or relieved. She knew it would work, of course, just as surely as her heart echoes the sentiment of Zaveid's words.
Quiet hangs heavy in the air, Rin's expression unchanging.]
...It was unavoidable.
[Yeah, thinking back on it, there was no better outcome.]
If anything, one of us should be dead.
[A statement like that just invites more questions, but she probably owes answers to Zaveid by this point anyways if he chooses to ask that much.
Gently, Rin lowers Sakura back down to the bed, smoothing the hair from her forehead to reapply the cool cloth.]
no subject
[ UH. ]
That big bad of a magic to heal her, normally?
[ He's.. not unaware of what some things might take. He strides back over to the chair and sits on it backwards, watching. ]
Or... that much of a problem, what's ailing her?
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[It's the other thing he said. "Wish there wasn't a situation to really compare healin'."]
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If anything, one of us should be dead, so there wasn't a situation that needs lots of healing?
[ It clicks that maybe she meant not him and her, but her and Sakura then. Eyebrows go up, but he stays lazily in that chair. ]
Well, I knew whatever went down still shook you up, but that bad, eh?
[ Don't think he doesn't notice the care in moving her about. That bad and that complicated? ]
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Sakura was trying to save herself. [In more ways than one.] I came out to the roof with the intention of killing her myself, so it's not like I can begrudge her at all.
[And while that confession stirs something pained within her that she doesn't show on her face, it doesn't match the intensity of what was upsetting her before.]
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Rin calling him the black sheep was more right than you know. The wind stirs for a second, and he blinks like it might make sense. ]
Or was it a save her by whatever means necessary, and killing didn't turn out to be necessary today?
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What nearly happened... Drawing her knees up to her chest, Rin's fingers are as white as bone holding her shins. It makes her stomach turn with horror again just thinking about it, and a grief so thick its choking. With it trickle thoughts from before, her realization from the bodyswap of the torture Sakura has had to live through, needling at the weaknesses in her heart with expert precision.
I couldn't. I couldn't let her die like that.]
There was an accident. I acted without thinking.
[Her eyes find Sakura again, guilty of something, but there's no regret to be found there. She wouldn't change that decision.]
...If she won't cooperate, it's possible I'll still have to kill her when she wakes up. I want to avoid that. After all of the effort I put into keeping her alive, it would be too much of a waste.
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Of course, sometimes what your gut screams isn't helpful at all in the long run.
[ But right back into his usual animated tones- ]
It is a pain to waste healing like that. So, what do you need cooperation on? Anything that ok' Zaveid can help to smooth along?
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Even if it makes it worse in the long run, like Zaveid says, that comforts her on some level. Rin Tohsaka is a very proud person. She's pretty sure she can trust those instincts.
But to his offer she has to shake her head, lifting it from it came to rest in the crook of her knees.]
It's up to her, and what she wants to do. I'll give her a choice. She just needs to make the right one.
[Despite what Rin said, that she had come to the roof with the intention of killing Sakura, that was a half-truth. She'd genuinely wanted to hear what the other girl had to say first, but... Well, the conversation had broken down quickly.]
I want her to have a clear head when she considers it. If you want to help, you can keep an eye on her.
[Rin brushes her hair back off her shoulders.] We'll need to move her by mid-afternoon at the latest, whether she's awake or not. But if she wakes up before then and seems coherent, fetch me and I'll chat with her.
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[ Zaveid stays lounging in that chair. ]
I already said my heal's suck, but what one of 'em is good for is clearin heads. Or at least makes thinking a bit easier. Wonderful for hangovers, might be why its like that, now that I think on it.
If y'want, I can do that for the both of you, before I give you two some time. Or let her think its just the two of you, either works for me. [ Even if he wandered out, its... likely he'd still listen in. Not sorry Rin. ]
You can go take a pace about the garden, or something. Unless you're more nocturnal than most. [ ... Or can manage to sleep, actually, thinking about it that might be the higher risk. Traumatic things either make you sleep like a rock, or not sleep at all, isn't that how humans work? ]
no subject
I have a laundry list of things to do. Some mindless tasks will do the trick fine.
[There's cleaning up the mess she left behind outside and in this house. She should go about making that medicine; hopefully it will agree with Sakura well enough. She promised her, too, that she would feed Happy.]
If you clear my head any more by the time I'm done with it all, I'll be a zombie.
[But it's appreciated, with Sakura. Honestly, Rin suspects the fever wouldn't be the only thing crowding her sister's judgment. She's seen now what the worms can do to their host when crazed, but she wouldn't be surprised if they continue to mildly influence her too even in day-to-day things.
Sakura must have impeccable control, Rin realizes, for her to have never noticed before. The thought is depressing, so she locks it away.
That leaves her with the last matter. Zaveid's going to be listening in, huh...]
no subject
He waves her on to her mindless task list. ]
I'll let you know she's up, wait for you to show, pass a concentrate over, and head off, if you want.
[ Although, as she said, he is Mr Wind Tells Me Things, so it wouldn't be too surprising if him being in the castle somewhere didn't stop him from knowing bits of what they talk about. ]
no subject
[Bluntly spoken, but not accusing. Zaveid has her full focus, but her sharp gaze isn't angry with him. She's stating the simple facts.
The wind whispers to him and he listens. Rin has no idea how well exactly he can ignore that, but even if the answer is well,, she suspects he'd eavesdrop anyways. He's the rebellious sort; at a bare minimum, he'd do it to check on her.
If she needed more evidence of that, tonight's given her all the proof necessary. No matter what she said to him, he wouldn't go.
Perhaps the realization should upset her, but it doesn't. It's something she can't change, and so the look on Rin's face is one of calm acceptance.]
I'd extract a different promise from you instead, if you'll listen.
no subject
[ There's a subtle shift at her wording. Zaveid tilts his head to the side, those bangs falling out of his line of sight as he studies her. ]
Oh? [ Light and airy as usual, is his tone, but there might be something about those orange eyes that says maybe.. her words need to be carefully picked.
.. Little bit of an odd change, but Zaveid's not saying anything further yet. ]
no subject
Rin breathes in, then out, and speaks from the heart without apology.]
The lifestyles of magi are... [Her fingers twitch as if to hold something. They rest.] Complicated. We have many secrets and suffer many hardships. Sakura and I have history together as well, that has been deeply colored by all of this. Due to the nature of the things I have to discuss with her, it's inevitable you'll overhear much of it.
For her sake and mine, please don't spread what you hear.
no subject
The wind carries many things. This'll be something it can carry off to sea, rather than into the castle. [ .. and the actual wind direction shifts, blowing off the rooftop and out toward the ocean to match. ]
No one will hear of the events up here from me, if you like. Well, guessing her mage thing isn't terribly well known, but only thing I'd say about that is, if it matches you, that whole thing against medicine you guys don't make.
no subject
That much I'll allow. If anything, I suspect Sakura's more sensitive than I am... [She brushes herself off.] Keeping her out of the infirmary is for the best. If that becomes relevant in the future, yes, you're free to mention it.
no subject
Further in line with keeping her alive, hmn? [ So whatever he might overhear is pretty bad to other humans, at the very least.
Zaveid waves at her. ]
Go about your list. I'm pretty good at waiting for people to wake up.
no subject
She'll have to cross that bridge when she gets to it, Rin supposes. The more she considers it, honestly, she thinks the offer she has for Sakura is an appealing one. Would she really refuse it? If she can be accused of being too optimistic, it's only because to Rin's sensibilities, the matter should be rendered a non-issue.
Feeling more confident than before, a bit more collected, she nods to Zaveid and turns to go.]
Right. I'm off, then. You know how to get in touch with me if something changes.
[Clearing her mind of everything that happened before, the distress that still grips her heart might remain, but its hold is looser. By burying it without processing it, she can get through the night.]